JOY!

Something is happening to me inside. 27 days NC, and I have so much joy in my heart both yesterday and today. I am so thankful!

Not sure what did it specifically, but really understanding he never loved me because he can't love really set me free. It was healing, not devastating. I think because I always knew it and always asked him if he did.Validation that I know what love is!

My heart is soaring because I know my instincts were right about so many things. I don't have pain right now, I'm soaring, I'm free! I think I'm also out of major pain because I am concentrating only on how to heal and not thinking of him. HE abused me, but I'M accountable because I let him. And now I am 'UNLETTING' him :} This experience has really been a gift to me, I am so codependent and this is a wake up call to finally be healthy. I'm looking forward to it, but it will be hard work.

I still have to deal with him at work, and this is the week he may get even more violent since he will be having to deal with HR regarding threatening emails and the police for intimidating me with pretending he would run me down with his vehicle after work...but I'm OK! I'm getting me back, and have absolutely no struggle with NC like I did after the first breakup. I am thankful for so much, especially this board, because I never would have understood Narcissism fully without it.

Wishing all of you JOY and PEACE!! Concentrate on YOU, even if it's just a few minutes at a time, and the constancy of the pain subsides so much...the holes created in my heart can now hold joy :}