It's the Weekend, and...

That list is a little close to the bone, Barbara! I spent about two and a half months doing some or all of those things. This weekend I went for a hike with friends (couldn't drag myself to the mailbox without a struggle not so long ago) and then got a bite to eat with them afterwards. Woke up after a full night's sleep (that wasn't happening, for months). Read the paper today then had brunch with my family. Am home this evening and will have a long bath before watching some DVDs - then helping a friend with her garage sale tomorrow. None of this would have been possible with N - weekends were for his harebrained schemes that usually involved me serving as assistant/manual labor for his gardening/home improvement projects and an outright rejection of any relaxing plans that involved any of my friends. I also don't miss playing "guess the mood" or having him either all over me or completely ignoring me, sometimes both in the one day. It's good to remember how bad it was and how much better it is now - blessings to you Barbara x

Went to my lodge(I'm a member of this social/civic group) last night danced and got some exercise. Up today already listening to praise music!! Some buddies told me last night that I am "looking better" and that they have had me in their prayers. THAT was so encouraging! Does it have ANYthing to do with the fact that yesterday I called the wireless company and had STBXNH's number BLOCKED!!! Yep, that's right ladies...I DID IT!!! That Rat Bast--d started raging on texts again yesterday morning and something inside of me just said...enuff...ok. So today, instead of moping I am going to pick up a box of food I ordered early in the month and have lunch with my girlfriend from Serbia and enjoy the sunshine! NC is Bliss!!

I went out last night, had a couple of glasses of wine. Then came home. I am such a sorry state that even my friends from years ago that still do drugs refuse to give me anything if I ever ask. (I used to do drugs recreationally but stopped years ago as it really affects my mental health among other things). Which is probably a good thing or I'd be feeling even worse this morning. This week, I've been doing lots of exercise, looking after myself after finishing exams, going to steam rooms as my back been stiff, but this morning I've been crying and moping. Over my ex and missing him, the fact the country is in a huge recession and I can't get a job. And because today is finally the day that I have to start cleaning the house out, as my friend is starting building work on the kitchen next week so I can sell the house. It was my mother's house who died 6 mths ago, and I'm finding it hard, but it has to be done and I have to leave here eventually and try and get work/get my life on track after looking after her while she was ill. Anyway, after seeing your post Barbara it's now midday here, so have to get out of my pyjamas, I'm going to get a shower, get out shopping and get some nice food/DVDs as a treat after going through stuff today. Then tomorrow will be seeing an old family friend for lunch. She always looks after me so will be nice. Thanks for the post.

i could so easily have stayed in bed late, churning memories and what ifs over and over. This is why i dread weekends no matter how much progress i've made. But, I'm driving 3 hours north right now to the scottish highlands to see my best friend, go mountain biking, laugh, chill out and replace old memories with new ones.

went to a concert with my brother....emotionally it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. XN...who is XN. oh yea , that guy the one that would have texted me a million times and called before hand to start a fight to ruin my night...or just show up. For tonite...there was just me and some good music. Physically well Im in some pain due to my chronic illness...but I have to say it was worth it. As for the rest of the weekend Im not sure...probably relax “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”

I hate Saturdays. I hated them even with the ExN. I will probably feel like this today BUT I will not be contacting him and letting him crap over me, that is for sure. I wish I could be a bit more like him - be able to sleep soundly in my bed and not give a sxxt!! Rosy