It's not you, it's them.

If you could stop the madness, for just one day, remove every one of your experiences with your narc from your memory and start with a clean slate, what would you do differently?

NOTHING.....................

You need to understand and accept, that there was nothing you could have done differently to avoid this happening to you, short of staying in bed that day, the day you met him/her for the very first time. But guess what, if it wasn't him, it would have been another one. Eventually.

We have what they want, not everyone has what they want, we do. But, with that said, you need to remind yourself that it isn't your fault that you fell victim to the disordered. You did nothing intentionally to meet this person, nor did you do anything to deserve what this person has done to you. None of this should be taken personally by you.

What these people are attracted to, need so desperately, is the supply that only we can provide them. We, being decent, loving, compassion human beings. One full of love, nurturing, empathy. Not every human being on the planet possesses these qualities. These are qualities that are only found in people like us, and they want it very badly. They yearn to be who we are, what we are. They are jealous of who we are, they are envious of who we are. They want to be us, they want our gift, and they connect to us so they can draw our positive energy from us to them, and once they have it, once they absorb us, they become extremely uncomfortable with who they are because they can not stand to feel what we feel, to be what we are, and they rejest us, they destroy us, they are so full of hate, it seems they are towards us, but they are not. The hatred thy feel is hatred for themselves because they can not be who and what we are. And they know that they never will be.

We don't disgust them, they disgust themselves. We will heal, thankfully, but they will never heal.

Find comfort in this.