It's not personal

It's not personal!!!
I used to go bat shit crazy trying to figure out how my N's behavior towards me was not personal.
Then today I came up with this analogy. It's still just a thought out loud but here's what I think.

N's are like machines, objects if you will. Rather funny bc that's how they see us.

So why expect any different

You put bread in a toaster it toasts the bread. It doesn't cook eggs.

Remote control changes channels maybe a few other limited functions. It doesn't change the sheets.

Vacuum cleaner sucks up dirt, it doesn't do laundry.

Put love in the narc it eats it up nothing else. It does what it is wired to do. It has no other real purpose or function.

It doesn't matter who put the toast in, who changes the channel, who dragged the vacuum cleaner out of the closet to vacuum .
Just as it doesn't matter who loves the narc. Or how you love them. It's not personal. It's how they are supposed to function.

I hope this makes sense,