its finally over..

hello,everyone im new..me and my narc wre together for a year and a half. and recently we just broke up. he hasent contacted me and I have not tried to contact him. we broke up on and off and I could not deal with the mental manipulation any longer. its been two days. (today being the second day) hes 20 and im 19. its even worse because he is an only child so hes very spoiled. (not saying all only children are spoiled just him in particular). ive been having weird vibes these past few weeks when we were together. like something wasent right. and I kept needing reassurance from him that he isnt cheating or lying and he kepy giving it to me but was very tired of doing so and said if I keep asking he will break up with me. everytime he cameover he would never get anything himself he would always beg me to get him water or food. even my family and friends said he used me and thats all I was to him was a good lay. he would spend time with me in my room then go out with friends when girls were there and not invite me then say "sometimes you have to understand that you cant come places, you arent invited" him and his friends would even hang out with my friends without me and not invite me because one of the girls didnt like me. Im alone ad upset and scared and no matter how much support I have I feel like everyone is lying and the only one whos telling me the truth is the narc. I feel brainwashed. he always told me to grow a pair of ba*** and stick up to my parents about them smoking or having the tv up. and would yell at me if I didnt. I fear being alone and Im very dependant on him. what do i do? last time we broke up nothing got easier it felt it got harder. then we got back a month later after no contact. I delted him off of facebook and his number but I still feel obsessed and longing and needing him although he manipulated and used me.. when will this get easier? when will I be less afraid..? I appreciate any comments or answers I get. thank you.

regards,
blue.

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