It's been

... 40 some days of NC. I'm doing Ok. I still am replaying to many thoughts of him, though. It's like going into a office and there a light fixture making a humming noise, you go through the day, but you can always hear that humming in your ears. That's what is like for me. At night I do everything I can to distract myself from it, but as soon as my head hits the pillow the thoughts pour in. I begin to see more of his lies, then I think about the ow(S) and I get upset. I tried listening to smoothing music, try to read something apart from narc material, take a bubble bath. But still my thoughts go back to the last two years. So I often end up without a restful sleep, waking up only to find myaelf thinking about him.

Have any of you experience this and what do you do? Will this go away in time?

I try hard to think of different things, cheerful things but still my mind goes back to him. I hate it, it's like he won't leave me alone. Just wonder if any of you had some suggestions?