Is it so very horrible.....

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#1 Dec 6 - 4PM

ReclaimingPower

Is it so very horrible.....

...to be sitting here wishing an N survivor eventually publishes a book that not only shows Before and After pictures of N's in their "glory" days vs. in the Supply Starved old age but also includes stories of how Karma kicked them in the ass?

Aaaah, three steps forward, two steps back. A blessing this is...yes, a gift, a gift. Breathe. :)

#2 Dec 6 - 5PM

NarcJunkie

I'm waiting for that book as well!

Karma did bite him in the ass a month ago, but now he got his great new job after all so he's back to bragging and parading OW around like he is the good guy who finally got what he deserved. He and OW were the golden couple at work... having a ball and being the big shots on the project while I spent this entire year crying in the ladies room. Makes me wanna scream.

#3 Dec 6 - 5PM (Reply to #6)

ReclaimingPower

I've been reading a lot of

I've been reading a lot of articles on Baggage Reclaim and it is so matter of fact about doing the Mental Flush when red flags appear or boundaries are crossed. I'm trying to cement it in my brain because in the very beginning I walked away from the N twice without thinking twice before things got serious and both times let him persuade me back. Both times his behavior was childish and I made excuses. Now I know there are no excuses. Ugh. I know I shouldn't wish for the karma and I don't want to be in its path but the childish part of me sure wants to see or at least hear about it....

#4 Dec 6 - 6PM (Reply to #7)

Susan32

He got karma...

But not in the usual way. Or in the usual packaging. The ex-Psych prof would speak terribly about children, calling them snot-nosed urchins, a year after he D&D'd me, he was a father. He spoke terribly of marriage... a year after the D&D, he got married. He couldn't stand teaching, complained constantly of students who disrespected him, he only saw it as a way to make $$$, he complained about the low pay... he got tenure. To a NORMAL person, marriage, parenthood and tenure are WONDERFUL. They are things to be grateful for. But to an N/P, those are NOT blessings, not at all. Whenever I wished happiness on the ex-P, he acted as if I were wishing the seven plagues of Egypt on him. When I wished him a happy life with his future wife... I NEVER saw such rage.

#5 Dec 6 - 6PM (Reply to #8)

ReclaimingPower

This is such a great reminder

This is such a great reminder and validation that the N is in fact an N because for every time he worried and I tried to reassure him and things turned out amazing (like he exceeded quota) he STILL complained. He was NEVER happy. Even when he was going to get more time with his kids after ceaselessly complaining he wished he could have them permanently, he shocked me by saying angrily he "wasn't a F*cking babysitter." Talk about the mask falling off.

#6 Dec 6 - 7PM (Reply to #9)

Susan32

Biblical plagues

I think when it comes to karma with Ns/Ps, we're prone to think of revenge in the NORMAL, earth-shattering way: rain of frogs, river turning to blood, lice, flies, death of the firstborn. For the proud Pharaoh, those were enough to compel him to free the Israelites. The problem is thinking of karma/revenge in the typical way. For the ex-Psych, the quartet of plagues were: getting married, the birth of the twins, tenure, and his parents moving in with him. From a normal, healthy perspective, those are blessings. The Apocalypse ends with a WEDDING. The wedding isn't the punishment. Different from the years of tribulation. But it explains why I got ZERO response when I broke NC happily wishing the ex-P a happy marriage&congratulations on fatherhood. I didn't even get a "f*** off." Ns/Ps are more like the hungry ghosts of Buddhism, that can never be satisfied. I'd wish the ex-P a happy birthday... all I got was rage&complaints about getting old.

#7 Dec 6 - 5PM

Hunter

Mine trains dogs and looks

Mine trains dogs and looks nothing like he did 20 yr ago he's and old man at 44 .. Alcoholic loser who's best friend is his mother.. Trust me the were losers when we met them an they are losers after.. Love is blind.. Very! Because The Dog Whisperer is truly the Biggest Loser.. Hunter

#8 Dec 6 - 5PM (Reply to #4)

ReclaimingPower

Strange coincidence...

The N I was with spends every other weekend still with his mother. And what did my ex husband do when we were divorced many years ago? Went home to live with his mother (and is still there). Talk about red flags and being blind.

#9 Dec 6 - 4PM

onwithmylife

reclaiming power

let me tell you i was with exnarc for 15 freaking years when he looked in control, tall, good looking, composed, you should see him now in his late 60's looks like an old geezer, with ahuge waddle under his chin, baggy, ill fitting clothes from weight loss, hardly any hair, blank dumb look on his ashen face when i saw him by accident. yet he told me he has some women for companionship, yeah the3- 80 year olds in the senior center, probably, how he has fallen!!!

#10 Dec 6 - 5PM (Reply to #2)

ReclaimingPower

I don't even know what I saw

I don't even know what I saw in him to begin with...which only makes it worse when I find myself looking back. Ugh..

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