Is it me?

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#1 Jan 3 - 12PM
Movingforwardnow
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Is it me?

Sometimes when I am remembering something good about the relationship I start thinking "Was it really me?" He had me convinced for so long that I was the one who was always wrong and I was the crazy one and I was the one who ruined the relationship.....was it me all along?

Jan 3 - 3PM
Goldie
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NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God bless, Goldie
Jan 3 - 2PM
Sparrow
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He only is able to make you

He only is able to make you crazy if you allow him to. Break the chain of power he has, take the power back. Don't let him continue to manipulate you. That is all he is doing. Who do these guys think they are???? We are better than them! Stay strong!
Jan 3 - 1PM
Hunter
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Idealize,devalue,discard,

Idealize,devalue,discard, rinse & repeat. The have a disorder.. Most of the answers to your questions are right here.. Please read thru the blogs, questions and answer section & old posts.. Understanding is key..Did you buy Lisa's book are you working the steps? They work if you do the work.. Hunter
Jan 3 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
Movingforwardnow
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I purchased the Path Forward

I purchased the Path Forward and have been reading it. And yes, I am working the steps. Trying to anyways.
Jan 3 - 1PM (Reply to #11)
Hunter
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Excellent.. Again the only

Excellent.. Again the only rule here in Narcville is NC..... The rest is trial and error.. Hunter
Jan 3 - 2PM (Reply to #12)
Movingforwardnow
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I am doing NC not a problem

I am doing NC not a problem as of yet because he has stayed away. I get restricted calls and hang ups a lot...but he hasn't emailed or text or called and said anything. maybe he won't be the type to hoover? :) We broke up once before and he hoovered and I fell for it and everything just got worse...maybe he won't pull that this time???
Jan 3 - 12PM
needing2know
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No matter what we do or did

No matter what we do or did for these people , no matter how much YOU changed yourself to make him happy, nothing in this world, no matter how big or small, is ever good enough, when they see the things they can do to make you change to fit them, the more they try to change you some more, nothing is or ever will be good enough. I changes so much about me to try and please him, that I lost myself along the way, but I am back to being me again. And I tell you what, I will NEVER change anything about MYSELF again for a man! I come first! If a man ever tried to change me again , he will for sure get a swift kick in the ass and I will tell him not to let the door hit him on the way out!
Jan 3 - 1PM (Reply to #7)
Movingforwardnow
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That sums it up for me as

That sums it up for me as well. I totally lost myself, lsot all sense of reality. Sold my soul to the devil....that's how I refer to it now. NEVER AGAIN!
Jan 3 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
needing2know
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My contract with the devil is

My contract with the devil is now VOID!
Jan 3 - 12PM
Dee30
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Hey

I am going thru the same feelings..you tend to focus on the "good moments" and blame yourself for the demise of the relationship. In my head i KNOW it was him, but i guess because all through the relationship everything was my fault anyways, I caused him to be get mad so he said, I had to change. At then end you begin to question and blame yourself. but how others have pointed out to me. think of all the mean and bad things he did to u. that mite put it into perspective. i think too when we did have those good times. but those good times never lasted very long anyways. Its soooo hard not to blame myself. But im on this form cuz i know HE has a problem. nothing u can do. they are disordered., they will never change no matter what u did for them..
Jan 3 - 12PM
clover16
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It's their specialization

It's not you, it's them! Lisa's book certainly makes this point really visible and if you can watch Sam Vaknin videos on Youtube, he clarifies that their whole mission is to confuse, entangle, manipulate in order to come across as the one who is not 'crazy'. Reading really does help understand how they operate and project their illness on to others so that the victim feels like the crazy one. It's not your fault at all. It really does help to know that this is a mental illness on his part; something that is beyond your control to help and that is nothing to do with you!
Jan 3 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
Movingforwardnow
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Thanks. Sometimes just

Thanks. Sometimes just thinking about him makes me think I am crazy. He pushed my buttons for so many years that at times I did act like a crazy b^&*ch. Ugh! I hate that he had that much control over me and still does.
Jan 3 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
clover16
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Reacting normally to an abnormal situation

My friend had a saying when I felt like I'd over-reacted with him, particularly during the prolonged D&D phase (which in my case was a 'come here, go away' series of manipulations): "You reacted normally to an abnormal situation". She meant that he was creating abnormal situations that were forcing me to act in ways that any normal person would react given the difficult situation that he had created. Over a few months, the things he was doing were coming at me at such a furious pace that I would either freak out at him, yelling, etc., or I would feel shell-shocked and unable to retaliate. Anybody dealing with the crazy-making words and actions of someone with this illness would react in this way.
Jan 3 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
Movingforwardnow
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Thanks! it's funny before I

Thanks! it's funny before I read any of this and before i knew i was dealing witha N I use to call him my "crazy maker" No one else ever in my life had the control over me that i would act so crazy, believed i may be crazy. he had me go to counseling becasue I was so crazy and also anger management becasue it was me! Luckily, through that counseling i started to realize what I was dealing with.