Isolation

I've realized that I have slowly isolated myself. I've given up everything that had any meaning for me. I've put him above everything and everyone and for what? If I don't somehow find my way out of this rabbit hole I've fallen into I will become a complete hermit. And I'm afraid that I don't know if I'm strong enough anymore to climb out. I know that you have told me on this site to remember how strong I was holding everything together and pretending that everything was o.k. and Hunter has said that I have to do the work. I'm trying, I really am. I'm reading everything I can read and I don't expect anyone to wave a magic wand and to make everything all better .... I went to my counselor today and we talked and I cried (as usual) and she thinks that maybe I should consider antidepressants. I've been there and done that and I don't want to do that ever again - but I'm sitting here and I just don't know what to do anymore and I've missed probably 6 weeks of work since July and I am just so very tired....