INDIFFERENCE - IS MY GOAL!!

Hi Ladies,

Have not written in quite a while. I usually read every day, but my mind, heart, and soul are healing and I can feel it.

I have been reading on here a lot lately about anger. Boy, I remember those feelings. If I were a soul less ass hole, with no conscience, I would have put a contract on his sorry mother f........ass. But, I do, so I didn't.

The key for me, to move out of the anger, was to realize that what he did to me, was not personal. That's what narc's do. The idealize, then devalue and discard. When he met me, I was everything he wasn't. Moral, hard working, honest, a good parent, a good friend, and a good lover, and friend. He wanted to have what I had. So he wined and dined, and put me on a pedestill. Then his personality, moral, disorder did what they do. They devalue and discard. I am still the same person. Full of love for mankind, honest, loving.

I had to realize that I am still the same person, almost. I now realize that there are people out there, that have no conscience, that have no moral fortitude. My soon to be exhn/p stole a lot. Almost six years of my life. My financial life, my house, my soul for a long time.

I now refuse to let him live in my head. I do not want to be tied to him by anger or resentment. So, how did I get here.

You guys. NO CONTACT, NO CONTACT, NO FFFFF CONTACT. Feel the feelings. Educate myself to the personality disordered. Rant and rage on here, to my friends. Pray.

I REFUSE TO LET HIM TAKE ONE MORE DAY OF MY LIFE FROM ME. I STILL HOPE HE ROTS IN HELL, BUT I DON'T DWELL THERE.

Love to all

Jen