1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. Im so angry. He's messing with me, and the cops can't do anything!

Im so angry. He's messing with me, and the cops can't do anything!

8 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jan 14 - 1PM
ichooselife
ichooselife's picture

Im so angry. He's messing with me, and the cops can't do anything!

I have been split up from my exN for 6 or 7 mo now. Im not good with words so please bear with me.
He started hanging out in my neighborhood after me egnoring a phone call from him.He would just wait outside the mall/grocery store paking lot where he knows i normally walk through all the time, and wait to see me.

He knows im trying to move on with my life. I admitt it, I messed up a few nights ago and got suckered into listening to his whining when he buzzed the apt, wanting to talk. I shouldve called the cops!!
Since then though (infact the next day), i had sent him an email saying, "No more of this. I wish you well but ive had enough. If i see u in this neighborhood again, or if u buzz me, i'll call the cops." That was sent a few days ago.

So i go for a walk about an hour ago, get a coffe, and go to the public library..Guess who i see there?!!! He was at a computer, and there was a bookshelf at a distance behind the computer, so i went behind the shelf, peering between the books to see if he is looking at his beloved porno. Yup! I knew it, bastard!!!
I went up to him and poked him with my umbrella.I said "Your're here!!! Why?!" He said something like he wasnt going to come near my house and bug me cause he didnt want me to call cops. I go "Why here of all places?!" Because he lives no where around my neighborhood and is doing this to stress me out. He claims its the only library he can come to. not! I said "Nice pics too!!!!"

I called the non-emergency police when i got home and they said they cant do anything cause he has a right to be in a public place. Im so angry!!!!

I want to forget him and move on, and he knows this but....i dont need to finish this do i. We all know how they dont care or respect boundries. I guess I just still cant believe what an evil cold snake he is.After me being so good to him, and him refusing to give to the relationship, the least he could do is give me closure, right? Sorry, i just needed to vent.

What should i do? Now if i want to call the cops, i have to wait until he buzzes the apt again. I wish he would make my day and do it!

Jan 15 - 8AM
Amazed
Amazed's picture

No Contact is the only way

This means being in total no contact...do not, try not to go anywhere this bastard might be. Yes, they are evil, they are very manipulative. They love to manipulate people with all their antics. Making others suffer 24 7 is their full time job, so realize this and do your best to stay away from them. They will suck the energy, life, and happiness out of you. 1. If he continues to go to the library, you may need to either go to a different library, or continue to go there and completely ignore him. 2. If you see him at the mall area, either go to a different mall area, or if you see him, ignore him. 3. You can handle this. If he rings the buzzer, call the cops then. Anyone who intrudes and is not welcome can be handled by cops at that point. 4. Keep your cool. Let him go. Look out for yourself, and do whatever it takes to keep no contact of any sort.
Jan 14 - 8PM
Journey
Journey's picture

Your frustration is

Your frustration is understandable, but narcs don't give closure... that is like cutting off a hand that feeds them (supply). The only way to STOP feeding them so maybe they go away and stop tormenting us is to delete and ignore - no contact. I'd want to dump my hot coffee on him too, but for a narc that only makes them retaliate and cause further anguish, they love to push people far enough to make THEM look like the one who is 'crazy'. You've told him in your last email that you "want no more of this", so he then shows up where he knows he'll likely see you... they can't stand anyone else ever taking their power back and away from themselves. The only sure way for you to do that is to stop ALL communication now, in person and in email - any attention he gets from you (positive and negative), only keeps him fed and keeps you feeling a sense of powerless frustration and anger.

Journey on...

Jan 14 - 8PM (Reply to #6)
ichooselife
ichooselife's picture

Thankyou Journey

OMG Ive been so stressed out all day. I'm starting to picture the worst, like him killing me someday, or coming after one of my family members or something...I just have to wonder, if he's wierd enough to do this, what else would he do? I will egnore him though...it will be really hard because Im so angry. Hopefully he will tire of this eventually.
Jan 14 - 3PM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ichooselife

I'm sorry that you are in pain. In order to get control you will have to take control of your actions, not his. Peering through books in a library is not an example of being in control. Nor is approaching him and making a comment to him that was meant to antagonize. Don't get me wrong, I understand that your emotions were boiling over, but you have to start reacting in a different manner. One that will protect you from further pain. What do you think you could have done instead that would have lessened your anxiety at that point in time?
Jan 14 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
ichooselife
ichooselife's picture

ruby01

If you were being stalked by your N and nothing could be done about it, you'de be mad too. What could i have done differently? Well, i couldve spilled my hot coffee on his crotch....isnt he lucky i didnt? Im not sorry for peering through the books. I already knew what he was looking at. Im glad I saw it for myself, so that i wont ever be tempted to be nice and converse with him again.
Jan 14 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ichooselife

I'm sorry if my response upset you further. We are all here because we have all experienced the mental anguish caused by interacting with abusive and manipulating people. What I was trying to give you as a suggestion was said with the intent of helping you. In my experience,it has always been a positive move to completely ignore him. I see the EXN several times a week at work so I understand how at times it is almost irresistible to not react to his baiting. To converse with them means they win because in their mind there is only one winner and it's not us. The safest thing for you to do is avoid direct contact with him. Make no mistake, I'm on your side. I don't want you to be abused anymore. xxx, Ruby
Jan 14 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
ichooselife
ichooselife's picture

Ruby01

I'm sorry Ruby01. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I was feeling unsupported because the lady I talked to when I called the police seemed like she didnt want to help me, and her reaction seemed like she was almost siding with him...so it was just a combination of things. I appalogize, and thankyou for your posts.