I'm saddened

I am truly saddened...angered...as I learn more about narcville and discover how many of us live, or have lived there....and I'm realizing slowly how I got there....

I had a great childhood so that's not it...somewhere along the line, I became wishy-washy....trying to please everyone....my sisters and one brother are not that way....

I married very young, pregnant at 16...I thought I was grown up, not so though when I lost the baby...

I hurt my parents by my actions, I know I did...but you know, they never said so....but I knew....

Am I trying to make up for the wrongs by now trying to please all the assholes in the world?????Is this what my life has been about???And always falling prey to a bigger one each time....