im hurting so bad now..huhuhuhhuhuhu...why does it hurt so much

the realization that eveything was fake,.the effort you put forward and invest into the marriage and relationship was so sincere and full of commitment,meanwhile my NH all is just fake..its hard to comprehend how can someone be like that.im am depressed.there is alot of things to let go..and it may be hard but i will let go,and i will be strong and i will get out.it just hurts so bad..it really does. if i could hug each and every woman on this site i would..i just feel alone right now im just talking to the computer,i got no one to talk to..even today the NH called me evil..

today i called the cops coz a friend of mine has been abused by his step dad..but my NH husband told me that i could not call the cops unless its serious..i told him serious or not its still abuse he strangled him .so long story short i called the police

then i text my NH

me: Its so awesome here in the states you call the cops for help,they come right away in a heartbeat.

NH: thats great, you got your new homies (meaning the police)

me:you are so right,i got new homies where i can call for help anytime.

NH: thats right,everyone can all the cops,I can call the cops too,you know what you are so evil,stop bating me to a fight.i just want peace

me: what is evil in what i told you.?ok i will stop.im fine im not mad at all...

NH:evil,what is behind your reply i can call for help anytime..

i dont know but to me he is just showing that he is scared im going to call the cops on him and report him for child abuse and domestic violence.....i dont know,just my personal understanding of it..

im so hurt..