I'm going slightly mad....

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#1 Feb 22 - 12PM
Linny
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I'm going slightly mad....

I'm not going to bore you and go into detail, but by reading as much as I can on this site, I realise I have been in a relationship with a Narcissist man . We're in our late forties and we've been together for three years and he's treated me so badly that I hardly know what to do. Of course there have been some wonderful times...which have made me love him unconditionally and this is where I'm tormented.

I KNOW what this man is. I have given 100% love and he's chucked it back in my face so many times. He's controlling, doesn't want me to see friends, wants to isolate me, shouts at me, walks out on me and so much more.

Last week I must have done something that upset him and he suddenly won't take my calls. I called him 17 times in a row and he either hung up or never picked up. I was almost hysterical.

I suddenly saw myself from the outside....what was I doing? Acting like some crazy woman as he obviously doesn't want to speak to me.

Now this is what I don't understand. I KNOW this man is poison, selfish, controlling and arrogant. I now know he never really loved me as he is able to discard me without a backward glance.....so why do I feel so devastated? I thought I'd feel relieved to escape, but instead I feel desperate. I feel I love him so much that I cannot live without him ....I don't know how I'll go on without him.

It's mad, but I don't know what to do. I want to go round to his home and BEG him not to leave me, but what will I do when he refuses?

He is in my thoughts 24/7 and all I can think about are the nice things we shared. I feel like every nerve in my body is alerted with anxiety. Keep thinking maybe I got it wrong and I'm the bad one.
Maybe I'm going insane.....

Mar 1 - 9AM
Done sourcing
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You got hooked on the drug

Mar 1 - 8AM
onwithmylife
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Linny

Mar 1 - 3AM
Linny
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Getting there...

Mar 1 - 5AM (Reply to #20)
tootsgee
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im glad you are coming back

Mar 1 - 5AM (Reply to #21)
leslieisback
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toots

Mar 1 - 4AM (Reply to #18)
don'tlookback
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See! You're not going slightly mad

Mar 1 - 1PM (Reply to #19)
Linny
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Actually UNDERSTANDING narcissm has helped...

Feb 22 - 5PM
Hunter
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What you describe is why we

Feb 22 - 5PM
Garden
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This is so painful to read. I

Feb 22 - 4PM
Im_always_fine
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You are mainline addicted.

Feb 22 - 4PM (Reply to #14)
leslieisback
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Exactly!

Feb 22 - 4PM
leslieisback
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Linny..

Feb 22 - 3PM
Linny
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Thank you....

Feb 22 - 4PM
Brit
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little bit crazy

Feb 22 - 3PM
Linny
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Unconditional love

Feb 22 - 3PM (Reply to #9)
Deidre99
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Loving yourself is the best

Feb 22 - 2PM
Deidre99
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do you love YOURSELF,

Feb 22 - 12PM
tootsgee
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hi Your post reminded me of

Feb 22 - 12PM
Ali15
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Firstly you're not crazy.

Feb 22 - 12PM
spinning
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Hi, Linny....and

spinning

Feb 22 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Linny
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Going slightly Mad....

Feb 22 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
talktothehand
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Linny

Feb 22 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
Dallas
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Hi Linny