I wish I had an easy answer, i have done some online dating and as was said, it is sooo shallow and men seems to just keeping on looking, even if they have found someone. I have been stood up, guys keep canceling dates, meet someone for a few times, goes nowhere,, it is very depressing and I am in the same boat as you and it seems the older you get the more men are set in their ways and want a Barbie doll, where as they have big beer bellies, dress like slobs, and no hair left!!!Also seems like no one wants to commit to anything anymore, let alone a relationship! Sorry for being so down about it all, that is just my experience......
That is why i kind of like the idea of these questions that they have to answer to show what they want / where they are. For instance, "Do you want kids?" I'm not about to waste my time on anyone who says "maybe" I'm at a stage where i know what i want and they better too. Otherwise forget it!
I was talking to a real lad of a man , the kind of daily mail reader mentality (thats stupid and right wing for the USA fokes )and he was saying that any woman who goes on an internet dating site has already come accross as desperate ..... sigh ... but you have to listern to him as he is about as basic as a man can get . Its the locker room mentality that is still very much alive and kicking , whilst we women like to believe we have equailty it is so far from reality . the other thing about online dating is people look for men and women like going through clothes in a shop , its so shallow ...
So where to meet a man ? there are 3 billion of them out there . They are everywhere ... like vermin ...lol
The trouble is whist women still settle for vermin we will get vermin . There was a tribe in africa whos women refused to sleep with their husband because of a war the men where engaged with , the war ended .
Here is my take on it.
When a person has reached a state of self acceptance, of self value, self trust and contentment, "where you look for a man" is not important.
You can look online just fine, because all the Narcs and weirdos and psychos will be OBVIOUS, and you won't be throwing yourself under some bus out of desperation or neediness.
When you are solid and healthy within yourself, you'll be as Narc proof as a person could possibly be.
Neediness and desperation to have a man in your life is THE problem. THE problem is not all the psychos and weirdos out there (though they truly are out there).
If YOU are solid, reasonably healthy, all the rest will fall into place.
A good relationship isn't something you go out and "find", like a nice patch of berries :D . I truly believe we attract it. Men are not commodities, they are real live individual human beings just like us, with all the internal life and hopes and dreams the rest of us have.
I was hoping that I wasn't the only one who thought as long as you are whole and healthy, not rushing things or acting out of desperation, and doing it with extreme caution, online dating can't be all bad. I have known a few people who have met and married after meeting online. So far so good. And I certainly won't do it until I am ready. I am so over wanting the exN back, but I know right now I am no where near being ready to trust someone new.
Online dating is widely known for being the ideal nest of all the psychos in this world. So if we look in there we must just be aware of it.
There are so many places.
Your life is the place. Going out with friends just for fun is the place, being yourself and following your interests is the place, the vegetable stall at the supermarket is the place...
Enjoy your loneliness. It is a blessed place, and it will not last for long.
((hugs))
nichole 96
I certainly dont want to waste my time...
I was talking to a real lad
but i dont want vermin
The trouble is whist women
Here is my take on it. When
I agree
Online dating is widely