If We Are Not In Regular Contact You Will Get Away From Me

Now that I am a little bit further down the road (12.5 weeks NC) I am able to reflect a little more clearly.
At first it was all so blurry. He said this/that. What did it all mean etc etc.
I know the regulars and mods tell us this all the time, but I am only just starting to see for myself how NC gives us CLARITY. All the mess and mindjumble that my thoughts were cluttered with is clearing away and I am left with much, for want of a better word, cleaner thoughts.
One such thought is that the first time I told ex narc I thought we should "just be friends" because to be honest I was sick of his ST and sexual withdrawal, he really panicked when he realised what I actually meant.
In his mind, us being friends meaant he could still call me several times a week, see me 2 or 3 times a month, get ten tons of validation and ego stroking from me, and be left to masturbate in peace. When he realised I meant I would see him "whenever" like, maybe in a few months and check in every few months, for a bit......he suddenly sat up and changed his tune.
Every now and then they slip up and tell you the truth (rare moments of honesty, admittedly but it's not deliberate so we'll let them off.) He shouted at me, "But if we are not in regular contact you will get away from me!"
Of course he then switched to full charm offensive. Begging me to reconsider. He wanted more than just friendship, I was so special. Maybe he would book us a holiday......
God what a fool I was! Of course I got sucked back in again and again before I finally got off the merrygoround.
So, certainly in his case, he KNEW that with NC I would get CLARITY and I would be able to see him for what he is. How he panicked. And yes, you sick fiend. I have got away from you.