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I wrote the OW!

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#1 May 14 - 9AM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I wrote the OW!

Yep! Sent her a sincere email, and told her that as time has moved on, I have realized what a favor she has done for me.
I really mean it to!
As a matter of fact, being the softie that I am, I feel sorry for her, for I know what her future holds.
Frankly, I wish all women would unite, and purge the Earth of these nonhumans somehow?
Isn't it enough we have to have periods?
Guess they should add into those little fifth grade class discussions, how to recognize a psychopath?
Someone should be shouting it from the rooftops, for I agree, the ratio is probably more like 25%!

Not even six months, and I am SO OVER HIM!
Reality has a way of making things appear clearly, if you can ever realize it. That's kind of profound huh?
What I'm concerned about today is MEDIATION.
I have a letter to appear for Mediation in June.
I DON"T WANT TO MEDIATE WITH THIS EFFER!
What a waste of time and money!
Is this mandatory? AND that I have to pay half of 150.00 per hour? This can't be for real!
No way!
Has anyone else been forced into this legal lunacy?

May 14 - 4PM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

mediation doesn't work

with these bastards....you can't reason with someone who is unreasonable or negotiate with a terrorist.... hopefully you can refuse.....because it will only waste time and money...and he'll enjoy screwing with you...
May 14 - 1PM
Healingnow
Healingnow's picture

I did for two sessions

Hi, I went to mediation for two sessions. Really I should've kept it to one just to get the funding I needed. It was horrid and a bullying session from him to me with the mediator saying nothing.
May 14 - 2PM (Reply to #8)
Healingnow
Healingnow's picture

not compulsory

It isn't compulsory in the Uk as far as I know. You only need to go once for legal funding. You can be in a completely seperate room. I think you can get round that too. I agree with Barbara, I would not go again. It's another bout of abuse.
May 14 - 9AM
sanctuary
sanctuary's picture

Had to do it for frickin

Had to do it for frickin yrs!!! The courts love to shove everything off on mediation and so called experts. I've been through mediations, a Custody Evaluation, Parenting Advisor, a Therapeutic Interventionist, and a Psychiatric Evaluation for my daughter, all for ExN to keep his relationship with his daughter. It all worked so well, NOT!!! she won't go anywhere with him or barely talks to him!! And yes thousands later!! The specialist are $250 an hour. Barbara is right, if you get PTSD established from the get go, you'll be way ahead. I should have gotten a lawyer the minute he confessed to me and kicked his ass out. I was trying to do what was best for my daughter. Little did I know what I was dealing with then. Where do you live and what does he want to mediate?
May 14 - 10AM (Reply to #5)
gullablegull (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I have a lawyer, pendente

I have a lawyer, pendente lite, I hope......but he says to go for the mediation also? My shrink says I don't have PTSD, but I feel I do............. Not much is working in my favor right now....
May 14 - 2PM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

gullablegull

try your regular doctor then go in and just tell him your symptoms (research PTSD beforehand) and get your doctor to write a letter your shrink is W R O N G - probably doesn't know how to treat PTSD... You can also get an accomodation report (you have to pay) through the Institute for the Reduction of Relational Harm. Sometimes you have to MAKE thinks work for you - be PROACTIVE http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/legal-ctr/court-adult-child-reports whatever you do - DO NOT GO TO MEDIATION UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!!!!!!! tell your lawyer, doctor you can't sleep and are throwing up just thinking about going and will NOT go!! ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 14 - 9AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

gullablegull

do you have a lawyer? have them write a big fat NO NEVER EVER MEDIATE WITH AN ABUSER does your doctor agree you have PTSD? Then you do not have to see or be in the same room with him, ever!! Your doctor just needs to write a letter that his behaviors gave you PTSD for you to use. NEVER MEDIATE!! and be ready in case the OW writes a nasty response... do NOT get into a war of words with her. If she does IGNORE HER! ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 14 - 10AM (Reply to #3)
gullablegull (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

He has not been proven an

He has not been proven an abuser? I sent in my responses to interrogatories, though I don't know how or if the verbage will be changed in them. I mentioned emotional abuse many times, sexual withholdings, silent punsishments, financial humiliations,e tc. Fact is though, I don't know what they will use from it, how I will prove these things? My psychologist , bless her, she's a dear, but I'm not doing as well as she keeps telling me I am. I think it's her positive reinforcment, and wishful thinking. If the prenup isn't dismissed, then it's all irrelevant. My PTSD can not be dx here. There was only one specialist that worked with PTSD, and he works mostly with soldiers. When I asked him if he deals often with ptsd from pathological relationships, I got the big Duh?
May 14 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
gullablegull (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Don't know what to do

Don't know what to do !! Barbara, My "psychologist" has not dx me with PTSD. She says it takes 6 months to dx? She also says she thinks I will be alright? Alright=to me, up X7 on my AD's, Buspar for antianxiety and xanax on a daily basis. That is not what I would prefer, or what I would call alright. I'm functioning. I told my attorney I didn't want to do this........ He says we will get through it? The date for amended relief on the fraudulent prenuptial is June 7, mediation, June 17. HE hasn't even had to do discovery! Not only that.......I suspect he has dumped OW already! She left a marriage of 25 yrs, and took little $$, for he said he would take care of her! Yeah right! He either has dumped her, or is already working on next supply, because she stays at his place now...... He is such a pathetic predator, but loaded....and I feel like there are strings being pulled here, but I am helpless. What do I do?