The 'I will not list'...

The "I will not list" helped me gain some clarity today, I hope it helps you too and please feel free to add to it...

Iwill not be angry with myself for having loved this person because I'm a human being capable of emotions like love-Amen to that!

I will not obsess about the w/OW ...
not because I know she has it worse off than me, or that her fate will come, but because I know in my heart that this person used and abused ME!

I will not hope for some kind of reconciliation or friendship with N...
Because, well, let's face it, I think I have enemies that treat me better and N was never a friend to me!

I will not fill myself will Hate and rage for N...
Because just as it's not possible to expect a paraplegic person to walk, I have to understand that it's just craziness to expect a disordered person to treat me with respect and decency.

I will not beat myself up as to why I wasn't enough: intelligence, beauty, $, understanding, patience, humor...
Because I know my own worth- I just underestimated it in allowing N to treat me subpar. Besides that he has a disorder called Narcissism and no-one will EVER be enough!

I will not fear or think or having any future run ins with N...
Because it's about ME and MY healing now... just thinking about 1 day at a time cause that's all I have.

I will not be hard on myself when I think back to the 'few' good times with N and hate myself for not being 'over it'...
Because I'm an empath and I try to believe the good in people, this is a process afterall and I simply don't know how to 'devalue and discard' people.

I will stay NC! For my own sanity, to find myself, to get stronger and to get over this.

I will be happy again without N!

... More to come from the 'I will list'...

Hope everyone is having a good day :)