i went on a date

14 posts / 0 new

#1 Mar 19 - 11AM

fierflie

i went on a date

i had an amazing time, for the first time since my divorce. he was cute and brilliant and my own age. he was fascinating and asked me questions about myself... the next morning he sent me a text saying 'i had a great time last night, i would love to see you again. i have friend coming in this week, but how about next week'. so i said ' i love love to go out again, then a few hours later i said where are your friends coming in from'.... his text was at 9 AM, i sent mine at 2 ND THEN 4 YESTERDAY... NOTHING....
is that normal???
i mean did his friends come in and he got distracted? i'm confused... :(

#2 Mar 20 - 1PM

fierflie

he called... he was skiing

he called... he was skiing ... lol i had an awesome housewarming party last night and just like michelle said i was kind of relieved he was gone !! :) being single is actually really amazing when you get used to it. i have never had so much fun or liked myself so much in my entire life.

#3 Mar 19 - 10PM

Steph

I'm glad you had a nice time,

I'm glad you had a nice time, however.....do u think it may be too early for you. I mean, if you are having thoughts that if this doesn't work you will be "scarred for life", and you've only had one date with this guy....I think that should tell you something. maybe you are still too vulnerable, and the wounds from your last relationship are still too raw? I don't know how long you have been out of your relationship, but 18 months has kinda been a baseline for recovery time.

#4 Mar 19 - 7PM

fierflie

but i will be scarred for

but i will be scarred for life if one good date rejects me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#5 Mar 20 - 6AM (Reply to #11)

ewa

If he rejects you then what?

If he rejects you then what? We will get over it quick :) and then you will meet somebody who is worth you. I havent heard from mine too and it will be more then 24 h now :).. life must go on. .

#6 Mar 19 - 7PM (Reply to #10)

michele115 (not verified)

Fierflie

If you are serious with this statement re: scarred for life...then you are not ready for dating...IMHO... The game is all about trial and error and if you can't deal with the notion of rejection, then it's an indication that more work needs to be done on the self. Again, just my opinion...you've been through a lot and perhaps will benefit more taking the time to sort it all out so that you are not acting out the same scene just with different actors. Hugs.

#7 Mar 19 - 2PM

Scoop

Ohhh Fi ! a great date that

Ohhh Fi ! a great date that is huge , im so pleased for you it is great progress even if nothing happens with this guy just the fact that there was someone who could take youre mind off he narc for an hour or two is no mean feat! For future referece get the book "why men love bitches " its a beautie of a book for women who are starting dating . There seems to be an issue with men about calling and texting too soon after a date and there are certain things a woman can do to make sure he dose all the work ..in a perfect world the calling game wouldnt matter right ? but it seems we are dealing with a lot of freaked out men out there lol and this book points out a few guide lines to keep our heart safe . My advice to you is to not to start anymore contact with this guy , let him come to you and for a while keep this rule , its an easy one to do seeing as we have gone nc with the narc ! its a bit like nc except when and if they do call we are alowed to respond lol . Men .. rolls eyes ... get the book as it will save you form many hours of asking and wondering why he hasnt responded , i have spent half my life for the reply that never came , i wish i had this advice many years ago ! If you dont contact him again i bet you £100 he will call , it reminds me of a Jane Austin quote "and .. at lenght he came calling " .. it means he took his time !but they eneded up getting married and living happy ever after.xxx

#8 Mar 19 - 2PM

michele115 (not verified)

Hey Fierflie...

Glad you had a good time...he did follow up confirming he would like to see you again. Don't read too much into anything... You sent two messages back...NO MORE from you until you hear from him again... AND I wouldn't sit there waiting but go on with my life. He could have cell problems, or he could be a serial dater Or it could be anything. You went on a date last night...he said he had a good time...he said he's busy...you're busy too. If he calls great, if he doens't even better. Last night was fun...and you my dear have alot of fun on your own that needs to be had. One monkey don't stop no show. He's not your boyfriend. Do your thing and let the cards fall where they may. NOT ONE MORE TEXT FROM YOU until you hear back... AND if he takes "too long" Then it's his turn to wait. Hugs.

#9 Mar 19 - 2PM (Reply to #7)

fierflie

:)

i love your euro comment scoop, because he happens to be british!! i think british men are more reserved, especially to a girl from TEXAS!! Michelle, thank you :) you guys are totally right, i'll just lighten up and be glad i had a good date. He did follow up immediately, right? thats a good sign, besides, if he is an aloof asshole, better i find out asap :)

#10 Mar 19 - 1PM

fierflie

isn;t it weird not to respond

isn;t it weird not to respond after 24 hours tpo a text that involved a question, or am i just crazy OCD? I just don't know how or what to expect from a 'normal' guy, i guess.

#11 Mar 22 - 2AM (Reply to #5)

ifinallygotit

men hate to be chased

I am sorry to say this but two texts was too much. One reply was fine. Why did you send a second one a few hours later? men have radar for this and it makes them back off. I know I would call too much if I was anxious. Were you feeling anxious? He will probably call back if you leave him alone. It is NOT strange that he did not respond in 24 hours since he is not your boyfriend. If he does not get in touch, just consider this good practice. ps. i often over communicated with my xN and still have trouble with NC so no judgement!

#12 Mar 19 - 11AM

ewa

I am so happy for you :). I

I am so happy for you :), that you had a good time. I had an amazing night as well, first time i was actually attracted to the man and was kissing him witout thinking of exN. Unfortunately we live far from each other. Still no message from him, i would love to get one but am not waiting for one :). Please do not analyze why you did not get the message, if he is worth you he will get in touch. Maybe he doesnt be pushy, or he doesnt want to scare you with big number of messages. Just take it easy, relax and all will be as it should be.

#13 Mar 19 - 10PM (Reply to #2)

TLSM

I'm happy you had fun! The

I'm happy you had fun! The first date is always the hardest and usually make you think of ex N. But you didn't! That is excellent! Here's my opinion. Didn't we promise ourselves that we would be on alert for red flags? This, to me, is a red flag. I know its been only one date. And he is not your BF and doesn't have to answer to you. But considering you believe he had fun too, its not only odd that he didn't respond, but its rude too. I'm sorry, I may get chewed out here for this, but I smell a rat. When a guy likes you, you'd know it and you'd hear back from him- friends in town or not. He sould have responded. Period.:( I HOPE I'm WRONG! Fingers crossed for you.

#14 Mar 19 - 10PM (Reply to #3)

neverlookback

I smell a mouse that could turn into a rat

mmmm? Sounds like he is preoccupied with other things and responding back to you was not his first priority. But then again I always give some benefit of the doubt he hasnt checked his mail and is busy is a good way. Just be careful, guard your heart. Make sure you keep that attitude that a man will not make you happy, and that your life is also important with or without a man in your life. I hope he responds and you have no troubles.

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