I Played the Out Narc the Narc Game and Played with Fire...HELP!
I Played the Out Narc the Narc Game and Played with Fire...HELP!
Do not recommend playing the game. We are not on the same playing field. They are sick and disordered and even if we stay strong, with our wall up, etc., they manage to somehow know how to mindfuck us. I acted like I don't care and I was the one who always left him first. He pushes the right buttons and acts all nice and I thought I could use him for sex, comforting, nice dinners, etc. but his sex addiction and drinking problem overshadowed the good. I just can't believe the man that is so loving and affectionate and so caring during sex can play such mindfuck games with your head. All the while, kissing and holding, asking me why I won't do swinging, go to sex clubs, have sex with other men while he watches, or have me do the lesbian thing, and whatever else falls into that category. I do not need that type of sex to enjoy it or have fun in the bedroom. I am very open and I know he likes that about me, but I draw the line. He is trying to control me and be his sex slave. He went on for hours and hours and hours for 2 nights in a row, telling me how great I am but that I am a bit of a prude if I'm not willing to do those things. Finally I said well maybe I am a prude! I know that even if I did do everything he wanted sexually, it wouldn't be enough and I told him that. He said it would and he would marry me IF I was more sexual like him. WTF!!!!! Please I know this breaches on a sticky subject but have any of you done this stuff to please your narc and he still D&D'd you?? He is like a drug addict looking for the next high and then the bar is raised and it just goes higher and higher. Last year, he told me he was going through a "sex" phase that he wanted to be wild and crazy but after a year or so he wanted to settle down and marry me. His mask is off and I know him too well. He mentioned that he feels comfortable with me so I am getting all of him...good and bad. He is very generous and now is holding the bar up sexually so he won't be taking me on trips or shopping sprees unless I give in to him...which I never ever will. Well I had a fit and basically attacked him, told him to stop contacting me, why won't he leave me alone. I do not call, text or contact him first, ever. I have gone NC and blocked for months at a time but because we live 1 mi away and work at same company I thought I could keep him in my life at a distance, but use him for only the good parts. I learned my lesson ladies and need to go NC again. I do have a heart, I do have emotions and feelings and shut them off with him. I looked at him and asked him if he had any emotions at all, he said yes, but he definitely does not. I told him I want a man who loves ME for ME not because he wants to change me and make me fuck other men while he watches. OMG...I am spinning today and need support from you guys!! What man wants to watch the woman he loves screw other men??? I am definitely not a prude at all, not even close!! I feel like there is a sex craze out there that I am never going to find a monogamous man. I have no interest in swinging, sex clubs, etc but know many married people that are into that stuff and it is just not for me. I am a beautiful, smart, happy, secure woman and fell in love with this smart, charming, wonderful man....that never existed : ( Any of you done the swinging, sex clubs with your Narc and he still D&D'd you? Not that I am considering it but just curious. I believe it would be more ammunition he would use against me cause now I could be called a whore or slut (BTW he never has called me a name or even bitch) Thanks!! Lisa
Outnarcing the narc...
LOL Empath, and the answer is NO
Empath, Goldie is Right
LOL Goldie
Thanks Everyone - Hugs
Lisa87
Lisa87, Ditto to
spinning
Lisa 87
Lisa
Getting back on wagon, got off and it was a bumpy ride
I'm telling you something
I do love myself
"I told him I want a man who
Hunter
Lisa
Just say NO
sunafterrain
Great, Sunafter!
NC - NOW!!!! And get some
Lisa 87
Thanks Goldie - you are right
I am thrilled that you are back to NC
Hi, Lisa,
spinning
have any of you done swinging
Used and Spinning
haha--there is just nothing they won't ask
lilli!!!
thanks, sun
Lilli and Sun
lisa87