I need a good pep talk!

ABC you are not the bad one. Obviously there is a reason for you to be here and to be going through this with him - he wasn't good for you or the marriage. You are feeling guilty and I hear this is normal. While I am not married, so I don't understand a lot of this, but I do know from reading your post, it sounds like you are taking it out on yourself and being very hard on yourself. All because of how he came off and his ring. After devastation after devastation, I asked my to take down our photos. It made no sense to keep them up. He wouldn't. And he also always came off like a totally different person in front of other people - even when I confronted his mom about his behavior. It stunned me how he sounded SO rational and normal in front of her - it made me realize what an actor he was and he had absolutely no shame about showing two opposite sides in front of me, knowing that I would see how fraudulant he was. And it's frustrating to us because the other party doesn't get to see it. It's like watching myself in a movie where you see my jaw drop when he just lies like it's nothing, even knowing I know the truth. Does this make sense? The acting. The weird freakish "holding onto signs that he's still in a relationship with you" are all things I have read over and over again. It's what they do. This isn't about him. This is about you. Forget what he is doing. You are taking steps to get away. It doesnt matter what it looks like to other people. Who cares? You will never see those people again. Please don't feel guilty. Remember the very reason why you are doing this. I read this " Right choices are typically the hardest to make, because they force us to adhere to the strength of our convictions" - it's so true. You know where you stand about him. It's hard to make that choice. So understand that it's not easy which is why you are wavering and don't be so hard on yourself. Forgive yourself. You are going through a very difficult process w/o worrying about him and his "show". Take good care of yourself. You deserve it. A huge hug.

to feel a little down today. You went through a major hurdle yesterday...it's not every day you experience something like court with someone you had a child with and were married to. That being said, it's an old ploy touted by attorneys (especially in these types of cases) to demonstrate to the judge that regardless of what's happening, wearing the wedding ring shows that the person is trying to be a "good father." It is JUST A PLOY. An ILLUSION. This person has made your life hell. Try to focus on that, and on the fact that you have done remarkably well under the added stress of a court date. You're still able to move ahead, not fall apart, and take more steps toward recovery. You WILL be happy and better off. I hope this helps some, ABC, as my heart goes out to you. It's never fun to feel a little down and I hope it doesn't last long. You have much to feel good about. Illusions don't exist. big hugs, sincerely (still trying hard to stop) spinning

You're a normal person and to you that ring has meaning and if you wear it ...it REALLY means something. The ring was on the hand of a narc....and so it is meaningless. Just a ploy designed to shake you up and question yourself. See through it...stay strong! hugs for you today ~KG