I made a mistake

13 posts / 0 new

#1 Jan 19 - 7PM

fallingfoward

I made a mistake

I shared earlier this week that I met with the narc and his girlfriend. That I did not know about. I had just started no contact with the narc. He said he would pay me cash and give her the money and deposit it today. Why do I believe people. So I text her today and ask her how much is he going to deposit. I was told he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Then she started texting that I lied about everything, that I knew about her , that I went after him, that I knew he didn't have cancer. I just said thank you, for meeting with me and for being fair at the meeting. That the money issue is between me and the narc.
I called his work, and left a nasty message. She then texted me and said they are going to file a haressment suite against me and they already filed a restraining order. I then called his boss, who knows me and has always been kind to me. And told him I didn't he was with the other woman, he led me to believe I was his girlfriend.
And that he owes me money and I won't be calling there anymore. Stupid I know now. I can't stop crying. He lied and told me he had cancer, when he knew my parents died of cancer. I found out he is just a drug dealer and drug addict. I feel so stupid, I don't want him back, just my money. I do have paperwork he signed for what he owes, I will go to small claims. But the girlfriend who I thought was the other woman, when I was the other woman, turned on me so bad. I should have known better, why do I even try to trust them?

#2 Jan 20 - 2PM

Femmegem

No way FF

I thought you'd exposed him, but it makes sense now what USED just said. It was all about.them! Its still not too late, once you get the money back you can turn your back on the pair of them for good. One day she'll find out for herself. Sorry to hear this happened but no more contact x

#3 Jan 20 - 7AM

helldweller

fallingward and cancer

Mine lied about it, too, to get me back after I left him to start seeing another man. After three years of Hell, I finally had the strength to break away to be with someone kind, and he came to my door and got on his knees and cried and told me he had bladder cancer. It was so clever, because he smokes a lot and could have said he had lung cancer like his parents (they died of cancer, nice right?), but no, he told me he had bladder cancer, which you can also get from smoking, but it seems a little more complicated and believable, right? Malicious. He told me not to tell his family, that he didn't want them to suffer. He also told me he wasn't going to go for treatment, that he didn't want his family to watch him suffer through it like his parents, only to die anyway. He said he was going to have a great summer and then shoot himself. All total lies. So I desperaely came back to him, pleaded with him to go for treatment, finally told his brother, and found out it was all a lie. Guess who was to blame? Me, of course, for betraying him and telling his family when I promised not to. Totally freaking crazy. I'm so sorry you are going through this, but keep going. I promise there are normal people on the other side.

#4 Jan 20 - 2PM (Reply to #11)

fallingfoward

Sounds like my story

This is such crazyness. I would tell him, when people are terminally ill, they want the people they loved around. Loving people will encourage you, they would be a positive force in your healing, you and I are in love,so why can't I go? Asshole he wasn't there. Never in my whole life have I ever met someone who does this, and hope never to again. Wish you the best on your journey out of narc-ville.

#5 Jan 20 - 7AM

janemarie

Live and learn....we have all

Live and learn....we have all made mistakes trusting these people and sometimes it takes something like this to make us realize who they really are....dont be so hard on yourself.... And dont worry about them saying shit about filing charges...they are bluffing and in order to go forward with that they would have to prove and show a history of harrassment....it's not as easy to file charges like that as they are making it seem....more lies!!!! Go back into NC...completely with blocks and everything...if you want your money..go to small claims and let them do the communicating for you...or you can just cut your losses....mine owes me over 12k...it;s been almost 4 months and lots of games and ignoring about it...but i may just cut the loss..as more time goes on the more I just want to forget the money, him....everything!

#6 Jan 20 - 2PM (Reply to #9)

fallingfoward

jane marie

Thanks I was worried, I only call his work maybe 4-5 times leaving nasty texts asking for my money. I went to his work twice, in control of my emotions and ask him to meet me outside when he had a break. I had been there before I thought I was his girlfriend still. So I tend to agree with you. Hugs

#7 Jan 20 - 6AM

Used

fallingforward

No good ever comes of things like this, for her to get in touch with you, WAS TO SEE YOU OFF... I didnt reply to your post the other day b/c you had already met up, but her screaming at him, THATS WHY I DONT KISS YOU B/C ........WAS ALL ABOUT HER...WHAT A THING TO COME OUT WITH.... HER TELLING YOU, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE SHE HAS MET, SPEAKS VOLUMES....TELLING YOU , YOU ARE ONE OF MANY.... SHE WANTS TO BE WITH POS, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER.... LET HER... EVEN WHEN HE THREATENED YOU, SHE SAID THE POLICE WILL COME...AGAIN ALL ABOUT THEM, NEVER ABOUT YOU... SOMETIMES THE LESSONS WE LEARN ARE SO PAINFUL, BUT AT THE SAME TIME THESE ARE THE ONES WE WILL NOT FORGET.... I AM SORRY...

#8 Jan 20 - 2PM (Reply to #7)

fallingfoward

Used

Used, you're right. I thought she was being kind to me. But truly it is all about them. I am changing my number, because yesterday I recieved nasty texts from her. Everything got so twisted so finally I just said Good-by and Thank you. She continued to text and I just ignored them. NC,NC is truly the only way to go. I already dealing with his crazyness, I don't need hers. She told me when she met the narc, he moved in with her while he lived on the weekends with his wife and kids in another town. She said I knew what kind of man he was, now 10 years still going on. She have diamonds, all her bills are paid by him, new car, but I would rather be a bag lady living in the streets with my freedom, than lose my soul in a relationship.

#9 Jan 20 - 4AM

I_am_free

what is it with these N's and

what is it with these N's and their obsession with saying they have life threatening illnesses?? Mine also said he has leukemia, then brain cancer, then colon cancer...he even shaved his hair when I asked why his hair was nt falling out after all the chemo...he even acted as if he was in severe pain infrnt of me WTF! U r lucky u got him to sign for all the money..i did not. So I will never c a cent of what he took from me.. so what u need to do, u tried to warn her atleast..her well being is not ur responsibility at all...let her find out for herself what a manipulative asshole he is...you focus on u and getting thru this..i know what its like to trust ppl...u get hurt..only look out for yourself xxxx

#10 Jan 20 - 6AM (Reply to #4)

fallingfoward

I-AM-Free

I didn't cry because of the other woman, and when I think of them together- no tears. But when I think he lied about not having cancer, the tears flow. How does someone lie about that? I would cry when he would tell me he was in the hospital and wouldn't hear from him for days, thinking he die. He didn't want me to see him like that, he said. Or his family was there, just a lies, lies, lies. How does someone sleep at nights, living like that.

#11 Jan 20 - 7AM (Reply to #5)

I_am_free

Us normal people know that

Us normal people know that you dont joke about somethng as serious as cancer. Everyday we come across ppl who have to deal with these illnesses and its hard for them...yet N's just manage to pretend to have it. I understand...it hurts because we would never in our wildest dreams ever lie about something like that...but because they are psycho and sick they think nothing to make up something like that... my N would sms me from the hospital and say how awful the chemo was and would also nt allow me near the hospital cos he didnt want me to c him like that (what utter F### BS)..yet he would come to my home and 'recover'after his supposed chemo...where do u hear sum1 drives themself home after having 4 hours of chemo! many times when he would sense I became distant with him, magically the cancer would reappear and the dr would say '2 months to live' Bottom line...they r SICK...we are NOT..we are good kind people (I just read Lisa's post about Empathy) and we dont deserve to be used and abused by ratbags!!

#12 Jan 19 - 10PM

Hope

Learn from your mistakes....

we all make them. Good luck with the small claim. You did good to get the IOU in writing.

#13 Jan 20 - 5AM (Reply to #2)

Snowflake

Hon

NO MORE CONTACT OK!!!! You cant blame her, she doesnt know about the illness that is N, her head is turned and you can tell her tell her until you are blue in the face but she wont believe you. She will believe you are just trying to get at her because you are after getting back with the N. Get your claim in small claims as soon as you can, dust yourself down and leave the asshole to it. His new one will realise in time but you cant help her anymore. You did as much as you can for her but sometimes people have to learn their own lessons to accept, trust me she will remember you one day and wished she had listened but thats not your worry...get you feeling better, get that money so you can move on and not have to have anything to do with him ever again x

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