I hate him..

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#1 Oct 3 - 7PM
Loveyy09
Loveyy09's picture

I hate him..

I don't even know where to start...my xN and I split three weeks ago on Thursday. This is not new as I have been with him almost give years life I have stated before and he always makes me be the one to leave after a devalue. The night I left, he looked at me and said, "I don't care if you stay or go." I balled my eyes out...I wiped this guys ass for years, even bailed him out of jail two weeks prior. I was the provider amongst other family members. He has never really worked as he is almost 28. I have also helped raise his son for the past four years, made sure they both had good in their tummy and clothes on their back all while I had the minimum. To make the long story short...I tried to grab my belongings today... And he responded with..."it is fine if you come over, I am having company later so I will leave the key here." For the very first time in 5 years, I DID NOT respond. I cried, I became angry..even wishing death on this man as he now has yet another woman in our home with the son that I felt like was mine. I am hurting tonight. I feel lost as I don't know who this man is even though I am not surprised. I imagine them lying in our bed, having sex, even sitting on our couch together utterly kills me. Tonight I finally made up my mind. NC. I'm done. I'm too hurt to do this anymore. He is going to be gone Saturday morning in which I will come and get my things then. I am scared. I feel alone and a total failure. I can't believe I never set boundaries..then again, if I did, I wouldn't of made it five years with him. I am on daily meds to breathe day in and day out, counseling twice a week and bible study every Tuesday...I was angry with god today as I don't know why he out this man in my life. I wish him pure torture at this moment. Help me ease this pain..you ladies are remarkable. I read every night before bed faithfully...I can't wait for the day that I see him and be able to thank him for exiting my life once this pain, suffering, nightmare ends...

Oct 4 - 11AM
Done sourcing
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God did you a favor. A dead

Oct 3 - 7PM
MyTurnToBe Free
MyTurnToBe Free's picture

Time

Oct 3 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
Loveyy09
Loveyy09's picture

Time

Oct 3 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
MyTurnToBe Free
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She Won't

Oct 3 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
Loveyy09
Loveyy09's picture

My turn to be free

Oct 3 - 9PM (Reply to #7)
what.a.mess
what.a.mess's picture

Save your sanity sweetie

Oct 3 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
MyTurnToBe Free
MyTurnToBe Free's picture

Time to stop

Oct 3 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
thebigpayback
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true dat!