I Feel Like A Narc

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#1 Apr 21 - 11AM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

I Feel Like A Narc

Im recycling supply and hooving men that I dont want..but need there supply attention..they are being hoovered hard by me..its a sureal out of body experience..i feell like a tru narc..im hunting and recycling old supply..i feel like I need a lot of help..im out of contol looking for supply ..attention..from men who learly dont want me..why?

Im not complaining and reconsidering stayin on this board..you all are my family and I trully have no body..

Today again I hoovered old supply..insisting on him to have sex with me..he wouldnt ..i had to apoligize for my promiscuios actions after he turned me down..

I feel like a aging narc who has run out of supply..where did I go wrong..ehy do I have zero respect or control over my own self..i am beyhond a shame just like a narc and looking for supply to cover.my shame..

I feel very down to where hiding under a rock sounds like paris to me..

Out of control is what I sum up my behaviour

Oh and he never replied to my aplology by the way..he went nc todau jisdt like the other three ive been hoovering...

Am I the narcissist and these people are perfectly normal?

Apr 21 - 12PM
Epiphany
Epiphany's picture

Can I recommend...

Can I recommend The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. I got this book over 10 years ago and it was like my bible. It with the help of a pastor really helped with my co-dependent issues. I hoovered because I did not know how to be alone. I was trying to fill up empty holes in me because my father died when I was a teen age girl and my mother was a narc and my step dad was an abusive prick. You just want love but baby you're going to feel more lost and more empty if you do sleep with old supply because they arent there for the right reason. It's a temporary way to stop the hurt. We've all done crazy things to stop the pain. It's hard, I know. Hard to be alone when you want someone to hold you. You can do this. You just have to start somewhere. Someone else is not going to be able to take away your pain. Hang in there. Hugs.