I feel...
I feel...
old emotions again, it was an effective action on his part. Especially liking something as personal for me as my writing which is a main component of my life, as is y mother's memory. Now I am getting all kinds of feelings stirried up, not enough to break NC that he imposed, mind you, but it's still very hard for me at this point not to think I am being unreasonably mean to him, at least in how I have portrayed him.
I know that's not really true, I hafen't chimed in on everything on here, and where he hasn't done what other N's have done, I have made note of it. He did show he was sorry when he was, and did show appreciation for things I did, he was reliable and yes, we fought, but I also know my grief, and my issues with my father and god knwos what diabetes uncontrolled makes me like, but now I want to change and work on those things for me, can't I extend him the same possibility? Not fair I guess for me to point fingers or call him a monster or any name when I know my own stuff to deal with.
Anyone else get this way? I really don't think I have been as bas as I am feeling I have been. Most of what I have called him out on is just so I don't let someone throw a show on me agan about something as serious as marriage and taking care of a child without backing it up both with proof and showing kindness to people. I was different when he met me, so insecure and didn't think I was desirable. I really came on to him in that way and he even said at first we shouldn't talk like that, but I was messed up. He probably knew he had problems with how he can be.
I don't know, I think he has N tendencies, yes, but I don't think he is unaware of it. And I do think people can change, and I do think it happened in his childhood, he wasn't born a monster or even meant to ever be one. I know you ladies are rolling your eyes, but I am just making sure I always look in the mirror too, I wasn't exactly acting like a strong woman with boundaries when this all got started.
Got a school thing and making my eye appointment today so I will be back later in the day, but would love to have your support, you can bet I stsay NC cuz again I am too afraid to ever speak again, but yeah, these thoughts go through my head even when I am mad at him.
M
He sounds like a classic N
Diabetes
Rose
I think I get what you are
It's good you are an RN
"do you believe that dreams come true? hold on to your dreams." - Madonna
and I'll tell you...
"do you believe that dreams come true? hold on to your dreams." - Madonna
A co-worker of mine was a
thank you
"do you believe that dreams come true? hold on to your dreams." - Madonna