"I Don't Want a Divorce"

My N husband abandoned me and our daughters 3 years ago - abruptly moved out of state to be with another woman, with whom he still lives. He left me financially ruined (I had to file bankruptcy and fought like hell to save my house from going into foreclosure). The one thing he insists on is not ever wanting to get divorced, still refers to me as his wife, sends cards for special occasions, and oddly enough will tell me how unhappy he is and how he has thrown his life away. Yet he won't do anything about it.

The history is a lot more detailed than this - we've been married for over 26 years. I haven't moved on to be with anyone else because I truly have no interest, so the divorce part isn't anything I have a need for at this time, but here he is shacking up with this woman who is also an N but apparently she isn't important enough to marry, which should be a huge red flag to her but as I said, she's an N too, who is also married to someone else whom she won't divorce. Ugh, just writing this makes me ill....