I DON'T UNDERSTAND! Please help?

So a week ago I found out about 3 more women the N pursued while trying to win me back/being in a relationship with me. That made the total 6 (of women I had PROOF of) - there are more, I just don't have concrete proof. After finding out about those 3, I just had it. I wrote an email and "outed" him to this brother and mother and cced him on the email. I didn't care. I wanted to do what I knew would make him the most angry at me so that he would stop with the hoovering and trying to beg for me back and make all of these promises of marriage, etc.

Then my NC started. REAL NC. And it wasn't hard! :) 7 days of solid NC - no checking emails, nada. And I didn't think about it much and it wasn't agonizing. I felt like I had done the ultimate thing to scare him away and to shame me from ever being a part of his life. I needed to do that, as inappropriate as it was, to kill the "relationship" once and for all.

But that didn't stop him!

He wrote me today. And said these things:

"I understand you want nothing to do with me so please know that this email is not an attempt to force myself into your life. We spent over three years together so more than anything I wanted to end things privately between you and I, not between you and my family. That being said I'll get to the point: I want to thank you for everything, you were an amazing girlfriend, beautiful inside and out. "

"I don't know if you'll get this email but if you do and if you want to maybe cut ties in a more personal manner then please give me a call, if not I completely understand. I just felt like I broke up with you and my family together and that didn't feel natural. But please know that what I feel or think isn't as important as what you need. You wrote what you did to keep me away so if you don't want to respond or follow up...it's completely understandable. As for me I will continue to be praying for you and for your spiritual life, your love life and your physical health."

"I feel like my whole world has come apart and knowing I caused it.....doesn't make dealing with it any easier. But as you know I"m not a quitter and I believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

"I have learned how much I lost with my many errors and I am spending the necessary time looking back on everything and re-living all my mistakes to gain from it and just in case I don't hear from you again let me leave with you knowledge of one last thing. I think our relationship could work and that is something i would fight for and stand up for. I'd face your family and mine and all the battles and time it would take to bring confidence and comfort to that relationship. If one day this year next year or anytime before you or I are married to whomever you decide that this sounds like something your in align with please let me know no matter how much later in life it may be. I say that because I am going to respect your life and your need to pull away but just know I am a dreamer and one way or another I believe things come together for a reason"

"P.S Thanks for giving me so many chances, you are a fabulous woman and it was a pleasure to be part of your life."

He writes a lot more stuff about good memories, wanting me to reach out whenever, etc.

What I don't understand is this: Do they stop at nothing?! I just cannot believe how hard he is pursuing me. I outed him in front of his mother and his brother already. I don't know if some of you remember, but I was so furious, I wanted to out him to his boss as well (I posted about this - I never did it).

My anger subsided because I am too busy with school and work, but when I read this, tears fell. I forward to my therapist, because I know that my emotions aren't allowing me to think clearly. I have read and reread the email like 5 times already.

The thing is, his offer to provide closure is just so tempting. There are so many things I could say. But I don't want to, because I am afraid. I don't want to, because I know I am not ready.

Have your Ns pursued this hard? Even after you outed him or did what you thought was the worst thing you could do to sabotage the relationship???

Is he really doing this so that he can ultimately punish me?! Are they that vengeful???

Why won't he leave me alone?! Is he that desperate for attention? Do Ns have THAT much trouble simply being alone for a bit if they have NO supply? I mean, even for a week?

I know that those times that I ignored him, he was chasing after all of these women. So I assume they are no longer interested - but neither am I! Is he pursuing other women just as hard right now? Maybe those who were "OW" could attest to this? I have no idea what how far his "relationships" with the OW have been, but I have read some of your stories and at this point, I would put nothing past him.

Does he mean this? I know this: If I gave in, he would immediately get really happy and we would be "good" for a while. We haven't been able to get to the punishment part each time I broke NC, because I would find something out and retreat. Or I would retreat out of fear of reaching that point. Each time, *I* was the one that left and then he would hoover, and i could come back.

I really thought I committed the final act of ending this for him. I'm just shocked that he wrote this and was so nice about it.

UGH. Maybe I am just venting out of sheer frustrating and confusion and I know the answers I will get, but this is what I get for checking for his damn emails!!!!!!!!! Now it's occupying my mind.

It's also been really hard for me today, because the weather has been beautiful and it brought back so many good memories with the N. I realized that it was really sad to have loved somebody whom I shared fun adventures and experiences with, but could never be with because there was so much more lacking. and because he could never change. It made me really sad today to know that...

Anyway, thanks for listening.