I dont know

How do I know?

I stumbled apon your website while just googling about my "Friend" traits, He can be very self absorbed and self rightous so I am not sure whether he is a Narcisst or Not. We are not romantically Invovled but have been very close for the last 6 years. Why did I google for some answers was when a very close friend of mine passed away he was very cold towards me and very harsh with his comments, this is the first time that a situation came up like this and his attitude to me hit me like a tonne of bricks.

So this lead me to listen to vblogs he has many of the traits but then he doesnt if that make sense. He is a very charming person he can hold his own with a crowd, but yet he doesn't socialise much, he is very much a loner, but is very intellegent but not very street smart, he has a very addictive personality , he has suffered from addictions ( drugs and I think alcohol currently) he also had a addiction to games, ( online games and he is a gamer ). He speaks very highly of himself and seems super confident ( but this is a front he can be very self coscience of himself and seems to have low self esteeme ) he has very high highs also very low lows ( which he is currently going though a low ) I had a feeling him being Bi polar ( he says he isnt and has seen a doctor etc and claims he isnt ) he has ADHD as well. He bores very easy ( but never does anything about it ) he is a pessimist ( I am opposite I am a optsimist ).

His family situation is quite bizzare to me ( I am from a very close knit family who is deeply involved with family ) he isnt he rarely speaks to his family he has never talked about his siblings I only found out recently his has sisters, nieces etc. He has a daugther whome he has one visitation weekends other than that he never talks about them.
Some times he is very talkative to me , others times its like I don't exist. I am the one who always makes the effort to talk to him, unless he wants something or is bored and noone else is around , he has his little work " groupies" as I call them who fawn over his very existance. Last night I messaged him and said
"hi"
he said " hi"
and then I went one to say " How are You?"
he said "the same the other 4 times you asked "
my reply was " I was only trying to be polite
" his response was " Yes well, there is reason i don't socialize much ..."
I didn't reply to him as I was really pissed off .. he can be very rude and an Arsehole

But at the same time he doesn't have some traits he is doesn't like swearing, he isn't verbally abusive and he is quite very shy and prudish every he can be very naive in alot of ways too.

Yes we are just friends its never been a romantically involvement and sometimes I guess that suits him well as the sort of Madonna, But in the 6 years we have known each other he hasn't been romantically involved with anyone ( i am not sure if he is in secret either ) he tells me loves me but i know its only platonic as I was hurt badly and I took myself out of the game years ago I swore I would never be involved with a man again. He isn't the sort of person who womanises BUT he does watch alot of porn ( whether that makes up for it ) .

I am confused whether he is or isn't I know it's something I cannot "fix" I am a very giving person who always does things for others before I do things for myself. But am slowly changing that. This year has been different though I am thinking for for myself, lets take his birthday. I spent months organising a special gift for him alot of time and effort went into it also costing me alot of money. He loved the presents and told me how much he loved them. My birthday came around I didn't tell him or make him aware it was coming up ( maybe I was testing him ) he only became aware it was my birthday when his messenger told him he texted me to tell me, he loved me and wished me a happy birthday , he then told me he wasn't good at these sort of things and didnt get me a present. Was I miffed? YES i was, a days later he brought me an online game ( yes I am a gamer as well ) i was still a bit miffed cause it seems every impersonable.

So is he or isnt he?