I cant switch off .. !!

low the next. It drives me nuts. My problem is not so much that I miss him. I'm having more issues with the fact I put up with such nauseating behavior. I feel like there has to be something seriously wrong with me and right now I can't convince myself otherwise. Sucks!

I haven't seen mine for over 5 months now. The big D&D occurred about 3 1/2 weeks after that, and I finally went NC 12 weeks ago. I'm right there with you. It HAS gotten better and some days are better than others, but I still have some really down days thinking about him. One thing I've noticed is that not every single second of every waking moment is spent thinking about him like it used to be, but he's still living rent-free in my head and I want him gone. Sometimes I'll notice that I've had a stretch of time where I wasn't thinking about him because I was distracted with something else, but it has to be VERY distracting. The other morning I woke up and he actually wasn't the first thing that I thought of, which was probably the first time since the whole relationship started. So there IS improvement here and there, but I'm like you. I'm tired of missing him and I just want to get over him and move on.

I hate to say it but at 4 months i was right slap bang in the middle of the obsessive thought and it drove me nuts , i thought i would be stuck like that forever .. but i wasnt and they do slow down and stop altogther . I tried everthing to stop them and i wasnt successful and the only thing i could do was go with it . i was on this board so i took heart form the other members who told me they stop and they did .They are a normal reaction to trauma ...Big hugs , youre doing fine ... Scoop xxx

Candy, I feel your pain what is helping me is to read & educate myself about Narc's and see how the one I fell for is EXACTLY like all the others..he's not special, in fact, he's not even a real person! Your story is the same as mine, old boyfriend, affair, except instead of ending in a fight, mine ended when he drunkenly gave me his email password and I discovered just how sick he is (over 18,000 emails in his inbox, including one from the OW sent while I was looking that night and lots from the wife he said left him for another man) everything he ever said to me was a lie! I cried so much while I was with him because I was experiencing extreme cognitive dissonance, that I haven't cried that much since that night, 8 weeks ago today. I think it was shock at first but now, I just realize he's not worth crying over. I've cried over what I did to my husband, my stepchildren & grandchildren, our families and our friends, though. Instead of just an affair, I left my husband and moved out. I was in my apartment for 10 days (and still had to pay rent for 3 months, ouch!) It will get easier, with time. Have you written out your story, yet? That was the first step towards me feeling a lot better.

ugh...I'm so sorry. I know I cried, no, weeped bucket-loads of tears and shed plenty of snot on account of my N. Feelings are intense with an N. You were probably blissfully happy at times and now you can't stop crying. My heart goes out to you. I'm not sure there is anything to do but ride it out. Are you taking care of yourself? Did you write a list of all the awful things he did? Are there any little joys in your life? These things won't stop the crying, but they might get you through to the other side. Hang tight, hon. We all know what you're going through and we're here for you, cheering you on. (((hugs)))