I am starting my First real attempt @No Contact Today......

Just take it one day at a time. You don't have to tell yourself that it's over. Just tell yourself each day that on that day you're not going to contact him. One day at a time. It may help to not keep track of how many days you're no contact. Just do whatever is necessary to keep yourself busy and read everything you can. Read on verbal abuse and how to recover from a narcissist. This forum is your sanctuary to post when you feel the urge to contact him. Bounce your frustration here rather than on the narc. 8-) It's only your strength and willpower that can make this happen. You will be much better off and happier to get away. You can do it!!

No Contact will not only heal you but it will definately empower you....healing truly begins at the point of no contact. It is painful I know...sometimes you have to go minute by minute and then into hour by hour...but you can do this... Hugs and Encouragement sent your way!

No "attempts" -- no way out. This time it is NC. Change your phone number & your e-mail address. Telling the important people your new location will keep you busy. Don't go into the whole melodrama of N. Tell 'em you have new contact info. And, then you will look pretty stupid to yourself & N if you give him this new info by breaking NC. And N does not believe you this time. N thinks it's a game, like all the other times. Seven years is too long. Even a fantastic relationship in the beginning, whcih remained great for many years, may have run its course after 7 years. But here you have not had much in 7 years. Why waste any more time? Do you think N has been "stuck" or troubled over you? Or what you meant to him? or hoping it will work out? Nope. He's feeling very secure that he's got you in the palm of his hand. The minute you do not care about him any more -- the minute he & what he says will be no longer interesting.

Hi Jennicat! Wanting to start the NC is your first step. It is hard, there is no doubt about it. I have two narcs to go through NC with at the same time and it is hard at times, but easier others. I wont pretend to have succeeded, I know I have a long road to hoe but am on the right path, slip sometimes, come here for help and get back on the road again. Everyone's situation is different but very similar. I look at it as getting off drugs. Some are hooked on prescription meds, others on heavier street drugs etc.......but they are all addicts and have to go through the same process. Withdrawal being the first, and the hardest and most painful. This is what I have equated getting off the narc. I am sure we will find plenty on hear that would agree. With that said, here are some things that I have found helpful in the beginning, the first steps let's say....... Acknowledge what he is, not who he is. This is important. Do not try to rationalize who he is, you can't and it won't help you at all. Make sure you always think of him as an object as he has always thought of you that way. Know that the love you had for him was real, the love he had for you wasn't. Do not try to rationalize this either. This is a FACT, not an opinion. Just like you will never be able to convince yourself or anyone else that cigarettes are GOOD for you. Know that you will have "cravings" for him. Like any craving, this will pass in a matter of minutes. You may have several cravings within one hour, but stay strong and know that this craving will pass, just like when you are dieting and wanting chocolate. Say no, say no, say no and you will eventually succeed. As far as not contacting him, in the beginning it is very hard to keep from doing. Leave notes on your computer reminding you not to do so. Like others here have suggested in the past, change his name on your phone as something vile that will remind you that you shouldn't want to speak to him. Dispose of EVERYTHING material that represents your relationship with him. EVERYTHING! Pictures, cards, letters, clothing, etc.........and most of all music (for me) When you find yourself writing an email, write to your hearts content...........and SAVE IT AS A DRAFT. same with text messages. Busy yourself, doing things FOR YOURSELF, that you have always wanted to do and never found the time to do them. EXERCISE daily.............best thing to do ruing your waking hours. Clears the mind and soul. Yoga is good. Me, I found kickboxing to be a great release. Last but not least, love yourself, know your value and expect more for yourself from everyone, not just your narc. I hope this helps you to start your journey. It is a long one, longer than you can imagine. Don't give up, ever.......and reach out to us any time you need a helping hand. There is ALWAYS a few of us on line at all times......you will NEVER find yourself alone here and on your journey to healing. Good luck and much love to you!

Good luck with NC! It will make your life so peaceful. It's HARD to do but it will change your life. Read the post I just created "Read this if you need help with NC" That article was so much help to me. Good luck and STAY STRONG! Sara