How To Prepare to Leave

I recommend seeing a therapist, and under no circumstances let anyone know you are going. Use the professional to formulate a plan for you to move on with your life, theywill prove to be invaluable to you as you embark on this journey towards freedom from bondage. Chris

I am going to be bluntly honest with sincere hope that it will help you, and may even save you. He isn't going to be happy with YOUR decision to end things. Now, if it was HIS decision that would be fine. n's are total control freaks, and you cannot do this alone. This fantasy of you leaving gradually is not going to work either. I know you don't feel strong, i have been there. I spent the entire summer in a womens and childrens shelter to escape my ExNH. Get help from a friend you trust, really trust, to help you leave quickly- like while he is at work. Take the day off from work, take the essentials only (there are movers who have flat beds/small trailers to remove the minimal quickly. And leave him a dear john (not that he even deserves that.) The rest, because you have a child with him needs to be handled in court. You have been in an abusive relationship, and here are recommendations for abused women when it is time to leave: You may request a police stand-by or escort while you leave. If you need to sneak away, be prepared. Make a plan for how and where you will escape. Plan for a quick escape. Put aside emergency money as you can. Hide an extra set of car keys. Pack an extra set of clothes for yourself and your children and store them at a trusted friend or neighbor’s house. Try to avoid using the homes of next-door neighbors, close family members and mutual friends. Take with you important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors, schools, etc., as well as other important items, including: Driver’s license Regularly needed medication Credit cards or a list of credit cards you hold yourself or jointly Pay stubs Checkbooks and information about bank accounts and other assets If time is available, also take: Citizenship documents (such as your passport, green card, etc.) Titles, deeds and other property information Medical records Children’s school and immunization records Insurance information Copy of marriage license, birth certificates, will and other legal documents Verification of social security numbers Welfare identification Valued pictures, jewelry or personal possessions This is YOUR life, take it back!!!

It depends I think on your situation and your N, but being emotionally certain is something I heard. I don't know your story, but I was listening to a radio show about leaving a relationship with a psychopath (I am not saying your N is one). Her name is Dr. Liane Leedum. One thing she said was just be sure it is what you want, and if you are not, talk to a counselor or minister, before you leave. The reason she said is that if you later change your mind because you are emotionally conflicted and come back, you will be re-entering the relationship from a weak standing point. I have also read do not engage when you disengage. If he is abusive, do not confront him with what he is or argue with him. And if you're "scared" for physical reasons have a support system in place too. My exN was abusive. I left while he was gone, called movers and just left. I was already packed. I hope that helps. Best!!

hey, can you put some money aside little by little? This just cannot carry on can it? go for detachment on the emotional front, it's not good for your son, to observe this you know.... do you have a safe place to go?