How To Move Forward From Here?

Is it necessary to contact my ex-N to let her know that although I went along with her bullying and made it seem like I took the blame for 90% of the problems in our relationship, that deep down inside I know the vast majority of the problems in the relationship and in the messy break up were caused by her? By the end of the relationship she had my head so twisted that I was terrified of standing up for myself to her because I knew she would freak out. Even still I'm terrified of putting any blame on her because I know it'll only backfire at me and result in her trying to hurt me through embarrassing me in front of other people or by calling me every name in the book. It's incredibly hard to move forward when I've made her believe that I think she hasn't done anything wrong and it's all been me. She's moving on just fine, telling anyone who will listen how awful of a person I am while she plays the victim.

Today I wrote up an email to send to her brother to defend myself since she has him brainwashed into believing that I'm to blame for the messy break up. I've had her brother's friends send messages to me trying to intimidate me saying they heard I said things that I've never said in my life. I'm so tempted to send the email to her brother because it would be a symbol of me taking back my control. It frustrates me that I built my reputation back up with people only to have her destroy it again with complete lies and distortions of what really happened.

I just feel so isolated, alienated, lonely, and broken. I'm an extremely kind person and I was taken advantage of by the most insecure, two-faced, and hateful person I've ever known in my life. Despite everything she's done to me, I still find myself wishing her the best. I don't want revenge where I humiliate her in front of the world (which I easily could with all the crap she put me through). Even with her trashing my name to anyone who will listen, I don't want to do that to her. I just want to move on from this relationship with lessons learned and with good-will towards one another. I want to have a normal break up where each party acknowledges they've made mistakes and moves forward with their lives from there wishing each other the best. If I was treating this break up the same way she is treating this break up, she'd be at my door ready to punch my face in. But it's okay for her to do what she would never want me to do to her.. it doesn't make any damn sense..

It blows my mind that all these people she has in her life now think she's so innocent. All the girls wanting to be her friend and all these dudes thinking she's a real catch. I pity any guy that gets involved with her. It's not worth the head games. It's not worth introducing someone with such hatred in her veins into your life. I wish I would have ran away from her at the first red flag.

I'm sorry for ranting. Any advice for how to deal with these feelings and move forward from here would be amazing. :)