HOW I GOT MY POWER BACK>>>

16 posts / 0 new

#1 Aug 4 - 1PM

fooled no longer

HOW I GOT MY POWER BACK>>>

Here's the interesting thing about getting your power back, when he and I were aparently fine before the d an d, he would go visit his family 5 hours away for the weekend. I chose to stay at home and work. As soon as it got dark I would go lock up the house and didnt sleep well if he as gone. I would count the hours and feel better when he was back.

Then when I finally got rid of him...
Hey presto! Im never scared, never lock the shutters, work in the office till late and simply lock up before bed. I sleep like a baby and am at peace, Im not scared to be alone at all. I dont hear noises in the night. * yup dont miss his snoring and farting either.

IT WAS HIM THAT I WAS SCARED OF PSYCOLOCICALLY!! I WAS SLEEPING WITH THE EMEMY> once I got my power back Im fine.

nothing scares me.
If a burglar had broken in when he was around. Im sure he would have blamed me for that too.
I was scared of his reactions actually, not the boogie man

#2 Aug 7 - 10PM

Littleone

I didn't sleep well for FOUR

I didn't sleep well for FOUR years next to the n. When we bought our first home the place had a very warm loving feel to it. It was one of the reasons why I wanted it so much. Five months after we moved in the atmosphere changed in the house. It became dark, thick. I could feel the evil and was scared of the dark. I heard things and had horrific dreams when I did finally go to sleep. Dreams about death and blood and gore. I remember one night I couldn't go to sleep and I felt like 'sonething' was trying to keep me awake. I asked whatever it was to leave and I heard a loud clattering in the lounge room like I'd pissed it off. I think something was trying to warn me and I wasn't listening. The next day I looked everywhere but couldn't find anything that could have made the noise. Now that I'm away I sleep very well and I'm never scared of the dark. There Is no dark 'thick' feeling anymore. My environment feels light and airy now. Maybe it's hogwash but I do think that evil creatures like narcs attract negative forces to them. In my case the forces are so strong around my EXN that he turned a loving home into an evil den. All he needs is a few skulls and gnawed bones and the picture would be complete!

#3 Aug 8 - 11AM (Reply to #15)

StudentOfLife

This is an interesting thread!

I eventually realized with my exn there was always this sense of anxiety and impending doom, and looking back i realize he created this sense of all-is-not-okay. He was so fear based, and would often say things to create a sense of fear and doubt in me as well... about pretty much everything and anything, you name it. There were many times i felt safe and warm in his arms,until i drifted off to sleep,that is during the good times when he was being "nice N. that part was good -- i soaked up every last second i could get of these good times. yet, even then whenever i spent the weekend or nights at his house, I never awoke well-rested. I was drained most of the time, head-spinning, fatigued, off-balance. In fact, Littleone, it's interesting what you said about the "dark thick feeling" in your enviroment with him, and the evil "something" tryin to keep you awake -- because oddly enought i have experienced this too. During my time with him, i had so many nightmares of impending doom, other women, and remarkably even had several very terrible waking dreams of demons. I thought it odd when i told him of these dreams he tried to play it off, i didn't get much feedback at the time at all on this just , oh maybe it was this or that. )I think the reason i found it odd was because he had told me himself that once years b4 he had had a similar dream and odd experiences in the house.) Geez, maybe he really could use an exorcism! Now that we're apart i do worry much less, i sleep better and though i always try to be aware of what's going on around me.... I'm living with much less anxiety in general. Life is so much more relaxed.

#4 Aug 5 - 2PM

Playedwithfire

OMG

so true for me too. I was scared of everything I heard in the house. But the night he left and everyone after, I love sleeping alone and when my kids are with him for his weekends, I'm not scared to be alone in the house or at night!

Playedwithfire

#5 Aug 4 - 5PM

fooled no longer

dabussard

exactly!! you were sleeping with the devil, as was I. I read somewhere that when we sleep we are at our most vulnerable. I shudder at the thoughts that must have been running through his head.

#6 Aug 4 - 4PM

dabussard

Oh my Yes

When I used to stay over night at my N's. I could not sleep... It was like I was sleeping with the devil himself... Seriously... It was like I could feel the evil... It was scary and I could not put my finger on the uneasy feeling that I was getting...

#7 Aug 6 - 2PM (Reply to #11)

Susan32

Insomnia

When I was with the ex-Psych prof, I had insomnia. My college managed to schedule my classes for the afternoon, thank God. I didn't ever sleep at his apartment, he never slept in my dorm. I could be with him in broad daylight, at the coffee shop for lunch, and I'd feel UNEASY. He'd tell me to relax, yet my body would tense up, I'd lose my appetite (part of the "fight or flight" reaction) I NEVER felt relaxed with him... that's one of the reasons why I never went to his place&I never got sexually involved with him. I was too scared to have sex with him. I never really could get why, but that's how I felt.

#8 Aug 5 - 11PM (Reply to #10)

Arwen

Ooooooohh Dabussard and

Ooooooohh Dabussard and everyone else this is SO weird cause I could never, ever sleep at ex N's house. I remember one night in particular that I just KNEW something very bad, very evil was happening to me and I could not kick that fear and that thought. I knew he was going to be the end of me. How weird that we are all saying the same thing.

#9 Aug 5 - 8AM (Reply to #8)

Reddley

Isn't that weird... I slept

Isn't that weird... I slept like crap at my exN's too. I tossed and turned and woke up so many times... I thought his cat might have been screwing around and I'm used to my dog just curling up and staying in one spot all night. And of course... since I tossed and turned... he couldn't sleep either. Should have known...

#10 Aug 7 - 9PM (Reply to #9)

ifinallygotit

from day one

I slept peacefully, happily and soundly in his arms - felt totally safe and peaceful - had no idea what I was getting into - bought the fantasy and fought the reality when the cold truth settled in. Deep down I knew he had serious problems but thought he had a good heart... not no heart.

#11 Aug 4 - 3PM

fooled no longer

ha Ha ha ha ha ha Mystwoman

ha Ha ha ha ha ha Mystwoman this is pure gold, and just made my day!!! especially this statement "Xnh was about as useful as tits on a boar hog." Who knew that you and I are actually real sole mates and we finally got rid of those useless tits!!! Onward and upward and to hell with fear!!! Im going to get a bumber sticker that reads. "Stay back, I lived with a crazy person for too long. I can and will be unpredictably swift in getting you off my tail.."

#12 Aug 4 - 3PM (Reply to #6)

mystwoman

You go girl!! We don't need

You go girl!! We don't need any useless narc tits, we have each other on this site.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

#13 Aug 4 - 3PM

mystwoman

This is exactly how I am

This is exactly how I am (including I felt that I was sleeping with the enemy). Now that he's gone, nothing much scares me. I'm not afraid. I leave the blinds open. I come in and out after dark. I don't listen for "things that go bump in the night" in my house any longer. I sleep like a rock, and no, I don't miss xnh's farting and obnoxious snoring either. My house DID get broken into while I was still dating xnh. I took care of it all myself (including being on the phone in the house all alone while talking to the 911 operator, and the burglars pulled back into my driveway to clean out my house). They'd already broken in the back door, stolen my pistol, and shut the power down at the breaker box INSIDE my house so they could see if I'd come home while they went to get their truck. When they arrived back, I had my power back on and cops were already on the way. 911 was still on the phone with me. They left (quickly). As usual, xnh was nowhere to be found. After it was all over, and I finally got him to pick up a call after HOURS of getting a busy signal because he'd been on the phone with his mommy, he told me that he "hoped I was alright" and "he should have been there for me". Then he took three days before he finally showed up at my house "to fix my back door". How noble of him. I'd already repaired it so that it would lock again within hours of being broken into. I'd also slept in the house all alone after the burglary while xnh did...whatever it is that he did. Sleeping in there WAS creepy for while. Thank God for my dogs. They're idiots but they're definitely are more reliable and better protection than xnh. lol. To quote my grandfather, "Xnh was about as useful as tits on a boar hog." A couple of years ago, I saw a bumper sticker that said, "You can't scare me. I live with teenagers." In our case, it should read, "You can't scare me. I've lived with a disordered person". lol.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

#14 Aug 4 - 2PM

Hunter

Rock On!!

#15 Aug 4 - 2PM

fooled no longer

strangely Ive been wondering

strangely Ive been wondering recently, what he would have done if I had been attacked or under threat. That would have been the best character test. I used to have to wake him up to check the house when there was a noise, anyway.

#16 Aug 4 - 2PM

nancyh

If a burglar broke into the

If a burglar broke into the home he would have probably either knocked you down to run away first or hid in back of you and said, "Take her, take her! I have too much to offer to the world before I die - she's just a minion anyway!" I am happy that you have your power back. I am slowly regaining mine. Hug, Nan

Nan

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