How to Forgive

10 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Sep 5 - 11AM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

How to Forgive

Sep 6 - 2AM
strivingforhealing (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Forgiveness must be earned. I will never dole it out freely

anymore. Forgiveness if for one that admits wrongdoing, makes amends and takes steps to change. Because an N is incapable of this, I won't forgive. I hate how people throw this term around, like it is the spiritual and evolved thing to do... I FORGIVE MYSELF for putting my precious heart into the depths of hell with him. That is where my forgiveness does GOOD. Instead of forgiveness, I choose indifference- so one day- I don't carry the anger inside so that I CAN FULLY LET GO. Nothing to do with him...His Karma is none of my concern...Mine is the road to peace.
Sep 5 - 7PM
FINALLYFREE2BME
FINALLYFREE2BME's picture

Forgive???

I forgive people who take responsiblity for their actions and sincerely apologize for what they did. I don't forgive evil.
Sep 5 - 6PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Ruby

I will move forward and heal from the past but I will never and I say never forgive the devil!! For me forgiving the devil allows to devil in! Nope, sorry not going to do it! What this man has done to my life for decades in unforgivable! I think one must do what's best for your own soul, peace is where we need to be! I only speak for myself, I will never allow the sin of the devil in my life AGAIN! May that SOB burn in Hell for eternity! Hunter
Sep 5 - 7PM (Reply to #7)
heritage
heritage's picture

hunter

Later for forgiveness!!!!!! I am a very spiritual perffson adn I think even God will be on my side on this one. Besides, They have no remorse, no shame, no guilt, no conscience, why should I forgive him? He will continue to murder other's souls. There is no forgiveness for monsters.
Sep 5 - 6PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Forgive YOURSELF

ONe of my friends, a devout Catholic, was on my side during the final D&D. She was SHOCKED by the ex-Psych prof's total lack of remorse, that not once did he ask for forgiveness. Some Ns/Ps at least FAKE that... and he didn't. So she advised me to forgive MYSELF.
Sep 5 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Well okay,

Forgive me for posting this :)
Sep 5 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
58 and going strong
58 and going strong's picture

Ruby, if you feel like

Ruby, if you feel like forgiving that is YOUR FEELING. Others don't have to agree. To me it is a very spiritual and personal issue. I had to ask my children to forgive me for not having been able to protect them enough from the stepfather. And then I had to learn to forgive myself. From what I understand, Ns couldn't care less if we forgive or not. So if it makes your life happier and calmer, I don't see a reason why you shouldn't do it for yourself. I would, however, like to add a careful warning: When I found myself stuck in such 'noble' issues, I often found my own need to be better than the N buried deep under my being so nice . . .
Sep 6 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Felt same way

One of my friends said that if I forgave the ex-Psych prof to his face, it would ENRAGE him. It's like he didn't want to be forgiven. I remember telling him "we're human, we've both made mistakes." He wanted NOTHING of that. Being human? Making mistakes? How dare he be accused of being both! Some Ns/Ps don't mind being "forgiven" so they can keep looking like the Nice Guy in their fantasies... but others do. When I broke NC with the ex-P in '09, I told him of course he can't ask for forgiveness or be remorseful... I don't expect a baby who screams all night to do the same because they're self-absorbed&IMMATURE, and I felt the same for him. I can't be angry at my nephew for not asking for forgiveness for waking me up repeatedly. He's immature. The same goes for the ex-P. He's immature. He's a toddler stuck in a middle-aged man's body.
Sep 5 - 12PM
Sea
Sea's picture

Somehow I am someone who

Somehow I am someone who forgives easily. I forgive to ease myself of the burden as well so not entirely for the offender. But i dont forget cos its a lesson i learn. I have forgiven my exN a few days into my first NC which sadly only lasted 30 days.