This has been so confusing for me to interpret.....but now that I have all of you experienced ladies on the board - maybe you can shed some light.
My N's bday is one week before mine. Of course, for his Bday, I did all kinds of special things for him - decorating his office, and bought him a gift. He refused to let me take him out to lunch because he said that we can't mix personal and business while we are working together - and he would consider that personal as he knows I would want to take him out somewhere very nice and he was afraid our conversation would move into the "conflict" zone about personal.
My bday comes one week later. Of course, he forgets. When I am late to work by 20 minutes, he sends me a nasty text saying that why am I late becuase we needed to meet. I show up, he is still nasty. Obviously not remembering my bday. Later (because I received flowers), he figures it out, and went nuts about it "OMG - its your bday!!!! Can I Please take you out for lunch - will you go with me?" Of course I agreed. And he tells the whole office very excited that it is my bday. As we walk by everyone in the hall he makes them tell me happy bday. We go to lunch and he tells everyone there. Tells the waitress and to make sure she does something special for me. We have an amazing conversation at lunch about how we would both like to go back to a cool school and take history and philosophy classes. We connected SOOO Much at that lunch. AGain, I cry all the way home that day because I felt like we were so close and I need to be with him.
The next day, I say "I really still want to take you out for your bday - I'd feel terrible not taking you out for your 50th". He got mad and said "no - I told you no before". Confused I say "why - you took me out - I'd like to take you out". He yelled at me "NO! I can't mix personal" I say "I can't believe you are saying this. What is the difference from me taking you out. You took me out and it was very nice!" His comment "because me taking you out is in the past, this is in teh future" I say "I especially think that if we have known eachother 22 years, and it is your 50th, and we are business partners now - don't you think it would be wierd if I didn't take you out!"
Anyway - it turned into a HUGE argument. (and believe me - I don't argue with ANYONE. I could count on my hand the number of arguments in my life) Finally he "allowed" me to take him out (after three weeks) and we had a fabulous time. (or, I thought we did. I guess I never how if his words and body language are true anymore)
What would cause someone to act like this????? it made no sense to me at the time and I still don't get it.