How do u not feel cynical?

it blows me away when I think of what that basterd put me through. Lately I feel really.. I don't know, what's the word? I feel like a hater, like bitter. It's like my current mentality is set at... Are u fucking kidding me?
If they say " god" never puts u through more than u can handle, I feel like ok ya whatever, I may have handled it but what has this done to my soul?
I need councilling, I've become cynical. I know I didn't deserve what he did to me but for some cruel reason, it happened. I can't escape what evil he has shown me and I can't escape that I now know cruelty and sadism.
How can I feel anything other than cynical? Did he give me his negativity disease? Am I now him and perceiving humanity through his eyes?
Please someone tell me this is a phase and his venom is going to leave my soul one day. I am free of him but I don't feel free of his spiritual pollution.