how do i stay NC when he has a ton of my stuff and I have his iphone?

You buy new stuff and throw away his iphone........

He doesn't see his phone until you have all your stuff back. And you don't do the contacting.

Give the phone to the shelter and have mom arrange a time for pick up of your things. If he refused to give you your things without his phone then give him back the phone. If he refuses to give you back your things with the phone just cuz he is an ass, Call the cops and follow thru with a report. You gotta get tough now Sad....xoxoxo BTW...if mom dont want the responsibility of this i would be more than happy to drive in the city and help you take care of this with him.

I think it's ok if you have a friend coordinate it or like NinjaGirl suggested, donate it to a charity!!!

Get a friend or some third party to contact him with a list of your belongings. She/he can arrange a pick up time. He/she can then exchange the iphone. DON'T throw it or scratch it. He could do you for damaging his personal belongings and this would further keep him in your life in a bad way. This by the way was the advice from my solicitor when I had exNs things for over a year. She/he should let him know he has 7 days to respond back and if he doesn't then higher authorities will be involved. Do not give the iphone back until your friend has your property, he will need is phone so this should hurry things up. If he doesn't respond you will have to go to the police as he is keeping your belonging which is a criminal offense. You will have to show the email as proof. Whatever you do, DON"T contact him yourself. Keep NC

I read your posts from last night and today. The vindictive NinjaGirl says to delete as much info from his phone as you can and then either donate it to a women's shelter, take it to a recycling center, or send it back to him through the mail, POSTAGE DUE. Make sure to leave a few deep scratches across the screen. Nail files are awesome for this. Hey, that's what happens when you leave your iPhone laying around, right? The fair NinjaGirl says to give him back his phone AFTER you get all your things back from him via a friend, with no contact whatsoever from you. If he asks about the phone, your friend can tell him you'll get it back after you have all your things back. Make sure this is a strong friend who won't take any crap from him. If I were there I would do it for you in a heartbeat. Don't contact him again. Stay wherever you need to, as long as it's somewhere where he can't contact you, and please don't be alone at ALL. I want you to be with someone as much as you can, even if people have to rotate. You're in a deep state of shock, grief, and despair, and I'm truly very concerned about you right now. PLEASE do not have any contact with him for ANY reason right now. Any communications from you should go through a friend. No ranting at him, no crying, no seeing him, no calling, nothing. I promise you WILL make it through this and you WILL be happy again, but right now you have to dig down as deep as possible and find all the strength you have. You have more than you think you do. We are all here for you. I've been where you are, and I got through it, even though I wanted to commit suicide. I am so happy I didn't. Know that you are loved. Know that you will be happy again, but right now is a time to be angry and strong and stand your ground and not have any contact with him. If you want my email address, ask Lisa. I can get you my phone number that way if you want to talk. The only time I can't talk is at work. You WILL make it through this, sweetie. I'm praying for you. Edited to add: I didn't make it clear, but NinjaGirl always does the fair thing, even though the vindictive one would be much more fun.

can a friend take care of it for you?