Since I can't contact u, but I have such a desire to, this is next best thing. I need to get this off my chest. If I could contact you, this is what I would say....
Hey Assclown. This message is not for what u think. This is not an attempt to reconnect.
Last Friday when u were unable to give me sweet words like asked bc I was having a weird day, well, the reason I needed ur loving words was bc I thought I was pregnant with ur child AGAIN. But I am NOT pregnant. So thanks for kicking me while I am down. I wanted to tell u my worries but I chose not to bc I know u have a lot on ur plate. But u showed me ur true colors. I thank u for that. I feared being pregnant for fear if being attached to you forever a d not being able to get out of Narcville. Good luck with ur life. Good luck with being you , Assclown , you will need it .
I know if I really sent this N would not react with empathy. N would not care if I was pregnant or not. He would look at my message as lie. An attempt to get a Hoover from him. I want to soooo badly text him. I had a rough week stressing I we this. My own fault for unprotected sex with him. Again, I was so deep in this illusion of me n him that my own safety was put to wayside. I got on my knees and thanked God. I dodged a bullet. I am tired of feeling like I am dodging bullets. Not a way to live.