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Help! need some advice

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#1 Dec 26 - 10AM
matahari
matahari's picture

Help! need some advice

My last email from my estranged narc husband went like this.....'Since that we are now seperated my mother wants her money pretty damn quick she want us to sell everything so that she can get paid at once, and since you do not think much of me maybe you want to deal with her direct'. he then cc copy email to her.
You see he borrowed money from his mother as he normally does without my knowledge but this one time we had a big row at the time he borrowed this money and he was trying to please me so he landscaped my property abroad and when we got back together he charged me for doing the work. He now wants me to sell that propery so that he can pay his mother back....but i did not borrow money from her and who the hell does he thinkhe is to tell me what to do since he is the one who left me with nothing.He still owes me a lot of money but i am willing to forgo this for peace of mind.Our 'marriage' was all about money money money me giving and him taking.To add insult to injury he fraudulently claimed money from the goverment using my name and i am now a sitting duck waiting to see if i get prosecuted for this...he has a copy of my signiture and passport and every of my private important things on his computer cos he is good at photoshop and he used my signiture for this and God only knows what else.I only found this out one day when i checked his computer and since then he has changed his password so i could not get in again to see if he had erased my information as i insisted he does.
I have not replied to his email...what do you think i should do ? should i liase with his mum or not....I just wish them all to go away.....far far away...xx

Dec 26 - 10PM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Drop Off the Face of the Earth

Get a lawyer. Change the locks. Change your phone number if necessary. No communication. Especially about money & the divorce. This man will take you for everything. No contact with the mother or anybody else associated with him. You have no idea what the truth is. Only what he says. And about that government thing. I'd ask the lawyer about that. You may have to be proactive. And rather than waiting for the government to prosecute you -- maybe he can be prosecuted for identity fraud & defrauding the government in your name. Key to leaving these men & divorcing them is to TAKE CONTROL. You must get in control. Such as taking the computer & putting it into safety deposit box. Gather every shred of evidence you have & put it in a safe place.
Dec 27 - 5AM (Reply to #6)
matahari
matahari's picture

Thanks agnesmurphy17

Thanks for the advice. I will do just that and I will take control.I have been so messed up I have not been able to think properly.
Dec 26 - 2PM
Joy2me
Joy2me's picture

So sorry to read about all this mess your ex has created for you

I too had to get into my ex laptop to look for information, he did the same thing, changed his password. But with a little investigating I discovered you can get into his computer by logging on in safe mode. Google his make and model of computer or laptop. You will find how to do it quit easily. You wont need a password by signing on in safe mode. Hope that helps. Joy2me
Dec 26 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
matahari
matahari's picture

thanks joy2me

Thanks for that info, he however managed to enter my home without my knowledge the night he told me over the phone it was over and took his computer...just shows he had lots to hide then said he only did it because i created a drama...what drama? I was away at my mums...he conned the agent to give him the spare key!But clever me hid his laptop that he used to use before and i hope i will be able to find out more . every day thou i have him on my mind, the not knowing what the hell he is up to now is making me crazy(cos i know he is always up to no good). I know it shouldnt but its hard when you gave someone your everything and trusted, then poof like a cloud of smoke he is gone. does not even bother to hoover or anything only if its about money and i have choosen not to engage at all. I need to think of other things to occupy my mind.xx
Dec 26 - 11AM
ordinarycourage
ordinarycourage's picture

Consult a lawyer

Most will do a free consult for an hour.... Do not reply to his emails about money. Think only of protecting yourself. This is fraud. Narcs are a lot like small children....they want what they want NOW and they have magical thinking. He thinks you will respond, "Of course, I'll sell the property straight away and pay your mother back for the money you borrowed from her without my knowledge."
Dec 26 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
matahari
matahari's picture

Thanks ordinarycourage

Yes I will see a lawyer after the holidays as they are all now closed, and I am now only thinking of myself. Yes you are right about them being like small children wanting things 'now' thats how he persuaded me to sell all my other assets...I feel such a fool.xx