Help to decipher a text he sent

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#1 Feb 6 - 5AM

Isis

Help to decipher a text he sent

Hi everybody!

My Narc went to the Dominican Republic to meet with a woman there he's been corresponding since 2009 (at least). As some of you remember the Dominican woman said she wanted him for her during a week and the rest of his life he could be mine. She was the one who said she was after his d***k. Anyway, he's at the moment there with her, and last night, I received this text he sent. I've not replied. I do not want to reply. I think this is a complete manipulation and an attempt of hoovering me back.

This is the text:
"Hope you ok. I know you must have many negative thoughts about me and this trip. Sometimes one has to go away to find what's real and true in one's life. This is happening to me. Wait for me if you can. I know you and truly appreciate your many qualities. I hope we can talk when I return. With love x"

But what does he want now? Didn't he opt to go and meet this woman for a week of sex, sun and sea? And what the hell is this? Isn't he happy to be there among what "what's real and true"? So, if she's the one real and true, he can have her for the rest of his life, right?

#2 Feb 6 - 7PM

Hunter

Isis, You asked us to

Isis, You asked us to translates a Narcs text... You asked for advice..many members took the time to respond., now you don't like the answers., He text and the words mean NOTHING..he's a Player and your a game piece.. The answer is never going be what you want to hear!! You have a choice ., Excuses don't fly here .. We all get it !! You need to fix this but only you can do it!! Getting angry at us isn't helping you.. Good Luck with your choices! Hunter

#3 Feb 7 - 4AM (Reply to #34)

Isis

Who said I didn't like the

Who said I didn't like the answers? I enjoyed them all, with the exception of some harsh answers who brought me more anxiety and made me feel bad by posting it here. And bringing me more anxiety than what I feel at the moment, it's not what I need. Don't forget the lots of meds I'm on to have it under control. You asked me to change my number. Yes, I can change it but you don't understand how not so simple that is, due to professional circumstances. However, his calls don't come through, so, you see, no worries. And what do you mean by excuses? My number? It's explained above. Sorry, I think it was you who didn't understand my point, but I understand your advice completely. You convinced yourself that I was ready to accept him and started the contact because of that text. Have mercy Hunter! I would never feel "clean" going back at him after all those events. I can suffer extremely, but I do not allow my body and soul to be used, after his mask has finally gone. I'm better than that. My choices are taken, Hunter. Don't think otherwise. I'm not that dumb. Thank you and God bless

#4 Feb 7 - 11AM (Reply to #40)

Hunter

Food for thought

http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2012/02/05/i-can-promise-you-one-thing Hunter

#5 Feb 7 - 10AM (Reply to #38)

Hunter

You asked for a translation

You asked for a translation of his text.. I'm tired of hearing I don't understand.. By you asking for a translation..was that not was this thead request was? You are still in the game.... I have a work phone, I requested a change a number change and the request was granted.. If you don't make the request you don't know the answer.. Hunter

#6 Feb 7 - 10AM (Reply to #39)

Isis

Hunter, I am not a native

Hunter, I am not a native English speaker, in the first place. Secondly, I'm not "in the game". What bothers me a bit are your wrong assumptions and the aggressive way you've used with me. I wanted the text more clarified but it doesn't mean "i'm in the game". You know what? At the end of the day, I also have the right to understand and figure a sick mind. Does it mean I am in contact? NO! Does it mean I want to contact him? NO! But I wanted to understand it better. Is it a crime? NO! I'm not addressing any anger at anyone, but I have to say you were a bit harsh to me. I've already had enough in life, Hunter, and by the life of me, I don't need more things to make me more anxious than what I am. I am in NC and you go over and over that I am playing the game. I'M NOT! You also think that I can go to my company and ask to switch the number without giving a valid reason. Learn something Hunter: not all places are the same and not all times the same rules are applied. What is a valid truth to you, may not be a valid truth to others. And this is the concept: not everything is black and white. There are gray areas always. I am off from the forum. I've asked a one-to-one with Goldie, but I'm going to ask to cancel it. Even if your point was indeed tough love, sorry, but I've been put through too much already and I'm on my limits. I need peace. Thanks for everything and for your time.

#7 Feb 7 - 5AM (Reply to #35)

Snowflake

I still think

If you can change your number, explain to work your circumstances then that would solve the texts as well as the calls. If not then you are going to have to be strong enough to press delete..all I am saying is its very hard to do, curiosity gets the better of us and whilst we continue to read there is still chance to be drawn back in/or even if not theres no finality..he can always walk back into your life at anytime. I am no expert, read what a fck up I've made by reading an email..just saying this because I care. The fact is we are all here because we arent over them. When I thought people were being harsh to me..do you know why it was, because the truth hurt. And deep down I knew I was making excuses to keep up some lifeline of contact..even if I chose not to use it, it kept him in my life. Not saying it applies to you, only you know that.. Everyone on here cares about you hon otherwise they would not spend time replying to your post. Not judging you, just think about it..it wouldnt be so hard to change your number really..are you sure those are your reasons x

#8 Feb 7 - 6AM (Reply to #36)

Isis

Yes, I'm very sure about my

Yes, I'm very sure about my reasons. The simcard belongs to the institution I work and I have to justify why I want to change the number. Of course, it's not impossible to do it. The problem is that I didn't want to expose my personal problems, because it's not easy to go and explain my reasons. I have difficulties talking about it. And I hope this clarifies. Thanks xxx

#9 Feb 7 - 6AM (Reply to #37)

Snowflake

Ok well stay strong

He sounds awful hon, hopefully if you dont reply to texts and his number is blocked he will think you have changed your number anyway... He is a real dog, big hug to you And not having a go promise just felt I needed to ask you the question x

#10 Feb 6 - 8PM (Reply to #33)

StarLight (not verified)

Now this is a tough call.

Now this is a tough call. Tough Love. Which has its value. I am understanding this thread is telling Isis that blocking is not really the issue here. It's about reading the text at all once you know it's from the narc---after you have blocked. But OK. This is just another step in my opinion. Blocking is a great accomplishment for many of us. That step is difficult enough. Now if the narc somehow manages to get through the block, the next step is NOT reading what is written. ANOTHER TOUGH STEP. Personally I think Isis did great just where she is at the present moment. She presented it to the Forum and there were inner reasons for this. Her anger is just part of her feelings at this time and I am sure, by venting these feelings, she will work through them at her own pace. Blessings. StarLight

#11 Feb 6 - 6PM

jackguy

i think it's helpful to post this

Texts like this serve as good examples of the pathology that we've all been damaged by and they help reinforce the basic message...sever all psychic bonds with the narc, always remember that ANYTHING they say is purely focussed on securing what they want and feel entitled to...it shows again how they are pathologically, emotionally dishonest...he believes he can go and screw another woman, reframe a sex trip as some 'inner journey to discover the truth' and that you will unquestioningly accept his version of events... I understand why you posted it...sorry if this has been painful for you but I imagine it cements your picture of him as a hopeless abuser?

#12 Feb 6 - 12PM

Anonymus

Translation

"Hope you ok. " Poor you...are you OK without me?? "I know you must have many negative thoughts about me and this trip." I know that you think what I'm doing is wrong, BUT "Sometimes one has to go away to find what's real and true in one's life." Sometimes a guy has the right to do as he pleases even thought it hurts other people; the real and true part refers to give the "you're my true love" line if I want to hoover you back. "This is happening to me." This is what I want NOW "Wait for me if you can." I know you are a good supply, hope to get it when I'm back "I know you and truly appreciate your many qualities." I know I can flatter you into doing what I want "I hope we can talk when I return." Hope I can hoover you or D&D you when I return "With love x" Appropiate salutaton X Hope he get's the dengue virus. XD C

#13 Feb 6 - 6PM (Reply to #30)

brinamarie

excellent breakdown!!! :)

#14 Feb 6 - 2PM (Reply to #29)

kartaga

hahahah! you are amazing!

#15 Feb 6 - 9AM

Isis

If possible I'd ask the

If possible I'd ask the moderators to delete this topic. Thank you very much.

#16 Feb 6 - 9AM (Reply to #20)

StarLight (not verified)

I do not agree. One of the

I do not agree. One of the unique and healing qualities of this site is that experiences and feelings are shared---without judgment. Expressions are true and frank and I find that to be very refreshing particularly after dealings with a narc--who was very good at censoring my emotions and labeling my actions as 'wrong'. We are learning and growing with and from each other here. The writings are all valuable and valid.

#17 Feb 6 - 11AM (Reply to #26)

Snowflake

No need to delete

I think it raises a valid point, in the UK we cant block texts/numbers from specifics..you can only change your number. Are work aware, is there any chance you could ask them to change the number for you even if you have to pay ..it cost me £25. I think the confusion arises because some still want to hold onto that last form of communication and dont try to block but then spend time complaining..and I am including the old me in this. I guess it can get frustrating when the answer can be easy x

#18 Feb 6 - 11AM (Reply to #27)

Isis

No, we can't block calls and

No, we can't block calls and numbers from specifics in my country either. I've been hours on the phone with my operator and the solution for the calls from a specific number, was to forward it to some silly number. He's forward to 666 (number's Devil). This could be done because my cell phone software allows to do it. As for texts, it's impossible to block them from a particular number as well, and no there's no option to forward them. What I was told loud and clear, is that in some Samsung models, it's possible to do it because their software allows blocking texts from a number. The only brand so far. My solution, is changing my cell to a Samsung and it will sort this.

#19 Feb 6 - 10AM (Reply to #21)

Isis

You may be right, but look:

You may be right, but look: everybody tells me to block him. He's blocked! The only thing I can't block are TEXTS (calls are sorted) from a specific number. Bloody hell, I spoke to my operator for hours! I spoke with their technicians for God's sake. Maybe in Europe technolofy is different from the US. Changing the number is easy, but my number was provided by the place I work. Holy Lord, if I don't answer he stops bothering me at least I think. He was dumped but because I asked opinions about the text, some members thought I was still communicating with him. I'm not! In fact I wanted opinions but NOT to go back at him. I thought somehow the text was good for reference here, but if necessary, moderators can always delete the topic, if they think it's better.

#20 Feb 6 - 9PM (Reply to #23)

Freedom101

I don't think it's always

I don't think it's always necessary to block texts. It all depends on what is right for the person. I decided not to block. Not because I was interested in what he had to say or whether he'd hoover, but I had the suspicion that he would hoover and I didn't want him to think I was just ignoring him and show up on my doorstep one day. I didn't want a series of angry texts demanding I talk to him going off into never never land and I had no idea they were being written. I've saved all the texts, and I'll use them if I have to, to keep him away with the law. Some may think this is wrong, but I have an event in my history where two lives were lost. My ex husband took the life of his wife and then his own life. I'm not about to become a statistic due to an obsession because now all of a sudden he feels like he made a mistake. If he starts going nuts, I want a heads up.

#21 Feb 6 - 9PM (Reply to #24)

StarLight (not verified)

Bless Your Heart. Stay safe.

Bless Your Heart. Stay safe. I send you a ((HUG)). StarLight

#22 Feb 6 - 9PM (Reply to #25)

Freedom101

Thank you. I've probably

Thank you. I've probably broken all the rules here, but I know how difficult it was to leave my husband, and can imagine what happened in his second marriage to bring about the ending it did. I don't think my exn is like my husband was since his emotions don't run deep and are fleeting, but I'm not about to take that chance. I have two children to raise without a father.

#23 Feb 6 - 10AM (Reply to #22)

StarLight (not verified)

Some members may have

Some members may have misunderstood but YOU know what you meant. That's all that's truly important. We can't help how others see us. We are all operating from our own viewpoints and filters. I think the text IS very good for reference here and I am glad you posted it---and I'm sure others are, too. This thread provided a valuable insight for me. Thank you, Isis. Blessings. StarLight

#24 Feb 6 - 8AM

Armed

I'm with another women and I

I'm with another women and I hope you're jealous. Be there waiting for me when I return because I am God ha ha ha * beats on chest like king kong*.... Isis, don't wreck your brain trying to translate. Whatever they say is lies and manipulation. There's nothing to understand but that, simply put. They want women who will allow them to be whores and be waiting legs cocked when they get home. We are objects better yet slaves to them. Kind words sweet nothing's are bait. Remember that! They never mean, good deeds are done so they WE will give bigger and better supply. They haven't a genuine bone in their body. Next time you wonder why he does this or that it's because it's a PLOY. They don't farm around with people they don't get anything out of and once you became his victim, you were his forever. -in his small mind Armed

#25 Feb 6 - 8AM

Fearless

Isis

I'll give it to you in french: It means he's an ASSHOLE!

FeFe

#26 Feb 6 - 8AM

Jar of hearts

Well....

It reads to me in that first sentence he is trying to make sure you are having negative thoughts about his trip away!! They are clever at wording things like that and so up their own arses they can't think for one minute you might not care what they are doing!!! Yuk yuk yuk stay NC for your own sake they are all soooooo textbook! Xx

#27 Feb 6 - 7AM

Hunter

Why is he not Blocked? What

Why is he not Blocked? What does his text mean? It means he's a Psychopath.. He's getting laid in the DR .. And when he returns you better be at his his beck and call. Delete,DeleteDelete...:( Hunter

#28 Feb 6 - 8AM (Reply to #9)

Isis

It's impossible to block

It's impossible to block receiving texts from a specific number, unless the cell is a Samsung and that's not the case. I do not intend to reply though.

#29 Feb 6 - 9AM (Reply to #14)

oceangirl

Stop inviting the drama into your life

Actually you can block phone numbers and hence txts. OR......CHANGE YOUR NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GEE WHAT A CONCEPT! When you stop inviting the drama from him into your life and IGNORE the text, and don't let him come back, then you won't have to interpret anything ever again.

#30 Feb 6 - 10AM (Reply to #15)

kartaga

that was harsh and completely

that was harsh and completely uncalled for.

#31 Feb 6 - 8AM (Reply to #10)

Hunter

It's not impossible to change

It's not impossible to change you number.. I ate that cheeseburger yesterday.. ( I shouldn't have) ..I was impossible not to..I wanted it.. What I should have done was ordered a salad.. But I made an excuse ..I'll work it off tomorrow.. Tomorrow is here and I'm stiing on the couch .. Watching the news! Hunter

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