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HELP

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#1 Nov 2 - 8PM
Jax
Jax's picture

HELP

I broke contact. What was I thinking? So much time had gone by, that I thought it would be ok. So we got along better than we had ever gotten along, just texting and talking and even seeing each other occasionally. Then he started calling every night, and I asked if he was seeing someone and yes, he has a girlfriend. I was devastated, but kept going forward. Last night he texted me at midnight. Asked me he could buy me lingerie for when I come over. THIS IS CRAZY. This morning he texted me to say that he is dating someone but that he is there for me as a friend, to come over anytime and he's always there for me. That he cares for me. But we can't kiss or have sex, WHAT? We haven't been together for over a year, and I wasn't offering. I said no thanks, if he has a girlfriend than I shouldn't be around. He's seemingly more available to me now than he was before, is this just another trick??? Yes, I'm blocking the number, but please help me to understand this current bit of craziness. I'm rambling now, but this is insane. Thank you all so much for your support.

Nov 4 - 11AM
Jax
Jax's picture

its so nice

Its so nice to be able to rant and rave and know that other people understand. I've gotten nothing but pain from the whole terrible mess. I never, ever thought that the boundaries could be wiped out so completely leaving me slimed with such negative energy. Thank you very much.
Nov 3 - 10PM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Ah yes...been down your road

Ah yes...been down your road so many times, and it only leads to shattering heartbreak that all of us on this site are SO good at sweeping under the rug just to be with him ONE MORE TIME. But each time rips at your self-esteem and creates a new wound that honestly - may never heal. It is a myth that every wound heals from these PD's. We get better as I have and many of us have here, but the truth is, we cannot erase the experiences. I beg you not to create any more for your poor, poor mind to wrap itself around. I promise you with all my being that if you will stay NC for just a month or two, you will start to have clarity that you never thought possible. SO MUCH LOVE TO YOU
Nov 3 - 10PM
Gaia
Gaia's picture

Remember, as I have to..

They always want their cake and eat it too. Leave him hanging. Let him eat shit and be with his girlfriend, you are stronger now, and better now and he WANTS TO TAKE YOU DOWN!!!! Dont worry about the setback, walk away and gloat. ;) SG
Nov 2 - 9PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

The mouse and the

The mouse and the snake...............he will devour you.
Nov 2 - 9PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

They want what they don't have!

And they have what they don't want! A NORMAL man would've moved on and be happy with his new girlfriend. This guy feels entitled to have sex with you... despite having a girlfriend... because he's disordered! I would've probably told him that he should buy the lingerie FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND. Nothing ticks off an N/P more than reminding them of commitment/loyalty. It's good that you're blocking him. When the ex-P hoovered me, I COMMANDED him to be happy with his girlfriend (who was living with him, she had moved from LA to live with him). He's suddenly "interested" because he finds his girlfriend "boring." It's called hoovering. When I reminded the ex-P of his girlfriend, *I* was the one driving HIM crazy... and better him than ME! ME FIRST!!!!
Nov 2 - 9PM
empath
empath's picture

jax

Get the f*ck off the Ns crazy train!!! Red alert, red alert! Get yourself safely back into NC and dont ever forget he is disordered. Stay away from the N! Contact always always always = pain. No exceptions. Its unfortunate that you've had a setback however this experience will give you all the fortitude you need to not break NC and expose yourself to hurt ever again. Stay safe.
Nov 2 - 8PM
blueworld
blueworld's picture

wow

ok first of all please read your own post. what are you doing??? really read what you wrote us..Sweetheart please open your eyes
Nov 2 - 8PM (Reply to #7)
Jax
Jax's picture

Very true. I needed that. :)

Very true. I needed that. :)
Nov 2 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
blueworld
blueworld's picture

our emotions

since are emotions of unvalidated feelings, fear, rejection, lack of connection, angry that is suppressed for the treatment we experienced is so bottled we cannot REPEAT cannnnnn nooottttt see, think, feel, sort ANYTHING clearly NO CONTACT and THIS SITE will help wash away the shit so we can see think feel sort clearly think of it like titanic your the wreckage find your treasure!
Nov 2 - 8PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

What's there to understand

What's there to understand he's disordered. He's behavior is text book.. Contact = Pain Idealize, devalue ,discard ,rinse ,and repeat !!! My guess is you don't like this Narc game.. So don't play.. Delete,delete,delete Hunter
Nov 2 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
Jax
Jax's picture

Yes, thanks, Its about me,

Yes, thanks, Its about me, now. Thanks for helping me to remember that.
Nov 2 - 8PM
Layla
Layla's picture

This current bit of crazyness is the same old crazyness.

He has a personality disorder. It's for LIFE. He hasn't changed. Who he was before you, during you and after you are all the same because he is the same and will never change. love~ Layla
Nov 2 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
Jax
Jax's picture

Yep

Thanks and so true. Unbelievable.
Nov 3 - 11PM (Reply to #3)
FINALLYFREE2BME
FINALLYFREE2BME's picture

Being NC along time......

I think we have to remain no contact forever. Especially when we think we're healed. It's then I believe we're the most vunerable. Since it's an addiction we're never fully immune to the N so complete NC forever is the only way you can ever guarantee your safety.