Help

I just got played like it says in the book. Took him back what not dumped me for the OW. I called him out on his game, and have been in NC every since. It's been about a week. Anyway, I left to get my head together, and he just broke my heart. Mind you I have a child with this son-of a bitch. I thought I was doing good, and I was I just keep reading about him in the book... I really never knew what a Narc was until about a month ago. And the way he treated me I would never treat another living being like that. But, like I said I was doing good, got good support, and I live in the smallest town the world, they were eating together. Him, HER and my child. I didn't know what to do, I just left. And I came home and all I can do is cry, I thought I was doing better, I don't understand. Why I am the only one fucking hurting in this.......Does he really not have any feelings at all. Damn I put 13 years into this "thing" cause I can never call it a "relationship". I just don't know what to do, how could he really not feel anything, even have a little respect, God, I just feel like shit...