HELLO, this is an open Forum!!!
HELLO, this is an open Forum!!!
There has been much talk on here about whether or not to seek revenge towards the narc for what has been done to you. Also, whether or not you should TELL the OW what is going on.
My thoughts:
First of all this is an open forum and it is not wise or self serving to post about anything you have done or may want to do to the narc. The same laws that govern the land, govern the Internet as far as self incriminating statements are concerned. So don't do it.
A psychopath is not going to take kindly to revenge and if you screw them up professionally or personally, you will get paid back and most likely worse than what you did to them.
This does not suggest that you live in fear, however, and if your Narc or Psychopath has hit you, stolen from you, destroyed your house or personal property, then you go to your local woman's center, and legal aid or an attorney, get proper advice and with support, contact the police. If there is not time to do all of that, then you call 911 and protect yourself.
If you have children together or they will not leave your house and you are not strong enough to deal with what you need to do, you go to a therapist, woman's center, legal advocate, and get the proper advice to make a decision which will work out best for you and your children.
You do not need to put up with abuse, financial ruin, or the mind games associated with dealing with a PD and their keeping you stuck and down.
If you have been cheated on, lied to, used, treated "less than," D&D, ect.. which has not included violence or illegal acts, then read and educate yourself on PD's, self esteem, settling for less, and find out what in YOU is tolerating this behavior and do something about getting out and staying out and remaining NC, with the help of the 6 STEPS of RECOVERY, the wisdom on the board, and your own sense of wanting a better life for yourself. This is an inside job and when you have had enough, you will do something about it. We understand how difficult it is to leave and seek a better life for yourself and this is why we are here to support you in this and offer you the support and tools to gain the strengh and self esteem to move on from the PD.
If you are stuck on seeking revenge, then do what you need to do, just do not post it on here because we have members who are looking for help, advice, and insight. They do not need to be confused about what they need to do and what they need to do most is to get their lives back on track and focus on the SOLUTION, not the PROBLEM.
As for telling the OW/OM, our experience has been and we have seen this often on here, is that not much good comes from doing this.
The PD gets angry at YOU, and tells the OW/OM that you are NUTS and made it all up because YOU have sour grapes. The OW/OM is so brainwashed that they WANT to believe that you are NUTS and believe what the PD says.
If you want to remain STUCK and heap more problems on yourself then do what you need to do.
The WAY that you HELP and WARN OW/OM is to get YOURSELF right in the head, clean YOUR side of the street and then GIVE BACK to the people who are still suffering from the adverse effects of a relationship with a PD and EDUCATE people on these disorders. Through the media, the Internet, people you know, ect...
This site is NOT about seeking REVENGE and it is NOT about bringing more STRESS and TOXIC energy into our lives by trying to SAVE people who did NOT even ask you for your help and most likely are not even ready to hear it.
This site IS about RECOVERY for ourselves, and our families. Healing and getting on with our own lives, and eventually if this is your path, giving back to the newcommer what was given to you so freely by the members here when you were in so much pain and needed the help.
There is something very freeing, uplifting, and rewarding about helping others who have been through what you have been through. And as with all self help groups, helping those who WANT it and ASKED for the help are going to benefit far more greatly than to try to help people who did not ask, are not ready, and will turn on you in the process.
God bless,
Goldie
Goldie, you are so wise,
Journey on...
Well Said!! Thanks
Goldie
realigning perspective and focus
Thanks, Goldie
If everyone should read just ONE post today...........
Work on ourselves :)
goldie