He never cried

32 posts / 0 new

#1 Nov 10 - 3PM

itreallyisabouthim

He never cried

Even when a very close family member was killed suddenly and horrifically. He got off the phone and told me the news like he was saying the cable installer had called to change the appointment time. I broke down immediately but he just stood there. And I thought "Ok, well clearly he's in shock". But I never saw him cry even when time passed, even at her funeral. Or ever.

#2 Nov 17 - 6AM

takingbackmylife

No Crying

My narc soon-to-be-x never cries either. But what do you expect, really? These robots have no emotional core, they lack empathy. My good friend, who is a clinical social worker and my therapist have both looked me in the eyes and said the same exact words "Your husband is very, very disturbed". I remember last year when my poor old Lab had to be put down due to cancer. As my children and I sobbed, the narc didn't shed a tear and afterward said he was relieved the dog is no longer a problem. Sicko.

#3 Nov 17 - 6AM

tasha

mine

Said he was crying on the inside-when I lost the baby.Lies was'nt crying because I lost the baby-was crying because his hold over me was gone. Shortly after that I left him.

#4 Nov 15 - 10PM

NanC (not verified)

Just had a flash back!...

One time when the Narc & I broke up, he called me crying hysterically, wanting to kill himself & that I needed to come over right away. It looked like his house had been robbed, things thrown everywhere, food on the floor (probably during his tantrum). When i got there, he was in a fetal position, crying on the couch. He begged me, "please, Nancy, show me how to be a man!"...WTF?!!! What a weirdo! Lol! Expects a woman to show him how to be a man????!

#5 Nov 17 - 3AM (Reply to #29)

Ellen

Hi Nanc

Hi Nanc, That is sad that a person feels that bad. I have felt like that before now and i have had tantrums too. I think it's ok to feel this way it's normal to grieve what isn't good is that a person doesn't move through it but uses it for attention or other means. Then with the narcs.......do they even really feel it anyway. It's a shame his parents didn't teach him what he needs to know about being a man. Anyway isn't this the man who i have read has been very cruel to you. It shows how selfish they are that you have to take abuse and then save them too.

#6 Nov 15 - 4PM

agnesmurphy17

Tears

OMG! Mine was a "sensitive" man. So dangerous & manipulative. Crying. Wept all the time. And only for himself. Once I was crying alone in my room. He burst in the door and told me that I was just like a child & if I thought my crying would have any effect upon him I was surely mistaken. When I was leaving him, he wept rivers tears & ropes of snot. Like a two-year-old child. Keeping me awake at night: "How can you be so insensitive when you see how I am suffering?" I said, "Easily. All the times you ignored me when I cried." His response: Lie--"I didn't know you were crying or I would have comforted you." Nasty--"What are you so petty as to get revenge?" Anyhow, the weeping was all mimicry. Somebody above noted that. These guys only act emotion. The ones who don't cry are acting the "strong silent type." As another in this forum wrote: They are not human. And the therapist who said narcissists don't cry is incompetent.

#7 Nov 15 - 4PM

NanC (not verified)

My exN would cry on a dime!

I'd never seen a man cry so often! He'd cry if I tried to leave him, he'd cry when he was feeling down & suicidal! He missed his calling, he should have been an actor, that pyscho bastard!

#8 Nov 15 - 9PM (Reply to #25)

Barbara (not verified)

actor

Having been a working actor for many years - not all actors are Narcs or can cry at the drop of a hat... in fact the good ones I knew where deeply honest & ethical and VERY empathetic. These Narcs are serious soap-opera, B-movie grade pathos. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help

#9 Nov 15 - 9PM (Reply to #26)

cynthia (not verified)

disagree

except when it comes to directing porn, they are great, ha ha

#10 Nov 12 - 4AM

AnotherPath

The only time my exN would

The only time my exN would cry was when he was watching a film about children. Probably to evoke sympathy for his abusive childhood....... aaahhhh sensitive little creature.... Didn't stop him horrifically abusing others though.

Ending the dance

#11 Nov 10 - 7PM

cynthia (not verified)

shocked

mine never cried, cant imagine him crying ever in his life, i am shocked that a narcissist would even be capable of tears, WOW shock to me

#12 Nov 10 - 4PM

time_to_move_on

really?

mine used to sob like a baby. When he came back from his mother who had put him in care he'd sob. And sometimes in bed, big heart-wrenching ones. And the last time I saw him... but juxtaposed against that was his rages/lunacy. If drunk, there was a few times...but that used to irritate me. Please tell me he could still be a sociopath/narc/whatever.

#13 Nov 10 - 5PM (Reply to #9)

Barbara (not verified)

sure!

sure - crying or not crying is not a marker. many of them cry - FOR THEMSELVES. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help

#14 Nov 12 - 12AM (Reply to #17)

Lisa E. Scott

Crying

Yes, Barbara is right. They can cry, but if they're crying they are crying for themselves. That is the key distinction. You will never see them cry or feel bad for anyone else's situation. It's all about him. My ex would cry and say "it's not my fault that the world doesn't understand me" and then compare himself to T.S. Elliot or some famous, misunderstood poet.

#15 Nov 15 - 10PM (Reply to #19)

Hangman11

Yep!! Only for Him

I only heard mine sob twice in three years and EVEN THEN he was only crying for himself!!! When I first left him, he claims he cried all night and all day at work...LIAR!!! I know he didn't cry at work and told him as much. His little IMAGE meant way tooo much for him to let someone at work see him pining over me. Oh yeah, said he told his boss he had allergies...LYING SCUM....I'm so glad he's STBXNH...they can't empathize..it's all an act with these PHONEYS.

#16 Nov 15 - 10PM (Reply to #20)

quietude (not verified)

crying

Hangman, mine did the same. You are so right...LIES, LIES, LIES! In all of his 'dear Jane' letters,(ya, more than one, and they were VERY similar, LOL)he wrote, "I can hardly see through all my tears as I write this". Oh...DUDE! He cried all the time apparently during this last separation. The truth is, I'm sure he had his most evil gaze and nasty face on while he wrote to me, the woman who DARED NOT believe him or answer him in the way he thought I should. Sadness and TEARS?? Bullsh**. More like total and utter contempt.

#17 Nov 16 - 7AM (Reply to #21)

better off

Bleeeehhhhh....right, the

Bleeeehhhhh....right, the whole not seeing through their tears is to throw you off balance from the fact that THEY are breaking up with YOU. But they end up making you feel sorry for THEM. Brilliant really, what pricks.

#18 Nov 12 - 6AM (Reply to #18)

time_to_move_on

actually that's true

yes, you're right, that's a good point. He only cried over his mother, not having a job, etc etc. He watched me at my mother's funeral to see when I'd cry (I couldn't I was in shock until the graveside) then commented on that at a later date. I think he was trying to see what "normal" people may do. He cried later on that day, but only because he'd got really drunk, was being aggressive to my relatives and I had to take him into another room and talk to him like a small child to tell him to "stop it now". He was trying to manipulate me. And looking back, he cried when we split up as I'd been all through his emails and finally knew exactly what he'd been up to. It was his last attempt to win sympathy. Urgh.

#19 Nov 10 - 5PM (Reply to #10)

quietude (not verified)

booohooo

My exN did cry, seldomly, but he did. He said he NEVER used to cry until he met me; according to him I "softened him and opened his heart". Pffffftttt! Whatever. Isn't funny the things that used to make us go "AWWWWW!" now make us go "PUKE!"

#20 Nov 10 - 7PM (Reply to #11)

better off

Yeah, I got that one too.

Yeah, I got that one too. He wasn't numb anymore. blah blah. sniff sniff. And when he was breaking up with me he was crying because it hurt so much, that we couldn't be together. His angel. And I felllll for it....puke puke puke. He probably had someone else he was messaging in another window.

#21 Nov 10 - 9PM (Reply to #12)

Barbara (not verified)

probably had porn in the other window

He wasn't numb anymore. blah blah same with Psycho-Boy...! And check this lame apology his California woman got, that I was cc'd on!!! - this came BEFORE I went to the cops, found out about the hookers, etc. http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/21/non-apologies/ That animal put me in the hospital TWICE for trauma - once in 1976 and once in 2004. They do not change. BOOOOO FLIPPIN'HOOOO! "sympathy for me but zero for thee!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help

#22 Nov 17 - 3PM (Reply to #15)

4joys4

Barbara

He should have used spell check before writing that..lol

#23 Nov 17 - 4PM (Reply to #16)

Barbara (not verified)

thanks 4joys4

supposedly he was on "all kinds of meds" for the "anxiety [I] had caused him and his family" -- LOL he should have used an empathy-checker too! Check out his hooker reviews (WARNING: ADULT CONTENT) for more bad English CLICK HERE ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help

#24 Nov 10 - 9PM (Reply to #13)

better off

Geez, was his typing really

Geez, was his typing really that messed up too?? Babrara? I think I'll extend a heartfelt apology that is unintelligible and spell your name wrong while I'm at it. What kind of subliminal FU is that? Dick. I have to say I did laugh my ass off at your pic of the kid with the pouty lip and the lovely caption underneath!! X-D Anyway, your little quote at the bottom of your last post (above) reminded me of a limerick...it's a drinking toast for those...special moments. When thinking of a N. Here's to you And here's to me And friends we shall always be But if by chance we disagree.... F**k You! Here's to me!! lololol

#25 Nov 10 - 9PM (Reply to #14)

Barbara (not verified)

better off - LOL!

first off, the fucker looked me up then trolled my friends... MY friends - until he found my friend in California to prey on... tells her he loves her, they're soulmates, offers her money, free trips... all before he even MET her! ROFLMAO then he sends that apology to her - and CC's ME!! The one he's known for 27years. Couldn't even just C&P and send separately - sends it like a bad chain letter. Yes his writing IS that screwed up!! He considers himself an accomplished writer & political pundit on his blog... but he has some serious spell & language checking software now (guess who was stupid enough to do it FOR him before?) And he misspells my last name... in a LEWD manner. The whole thing was a FEEL SORRY FOR ME PLOY to shut me and his other girlfriends up. Considering what he says about me now: http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/12/lashon-hara-from-ywl/ I guess that apology was a load of bull dung... ROFL! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help

#26 Nov 10 - 4PM

GhostBuster

My ex husband

In therapy, i've talked a lot about my ex husband (divorced as amicably as possible 10 years ago). And while I've come to see he was very insecure and liked to sometimes put me down (to make himself feel more important), my therapist and I don't think he was an N. One of the big reasons I don't think so is that he was such a cryer! He cried so much at my dad's funeral, and my uncle's...it was obvious that it hurt him to lose them. I don't think it was because they gave him attention--he just really felt for them. It's funny that now that I've experienced Ns who didn't cry over anything or feel anyone's pain, those memories of my Ex husband crying are sweet ones for me . At the time, I thought "jeez, man up a bit"...but now, I see that level of empathy and sensitivity as something very, very good. Maybe someday down the road I'll find myself another cryer. :)

#27 Nov 10 - 4PM (Reply to #3)

itreallyisabouthim

Interesting that his crying

Interesting that his crying made him not a N in your therapist's eyes. Well, there you go. At the very most my STBXHN would let out a little strange yelp sound. I had heard it once and it sounded to me like he was swallowing a yell. That is what he described when I would ask him how he was feeling, what was going on with him after his loss. He said now and then he made a sound and moved on.

#28 Nov 16 - 10PM (Reply to #4)

NanC (not verified)

A yelp??

That's funny right there! A yelp?! Like a dog yelping???Yelp!" I'm done yelping!!!"

#29 Nov 16 - 11PM (Reply to #5)

Barbara (not verified)

screamed like a girl

when Psycho-Boy found out I had told his wife everything - he screamed like a girl. LITERALLY. It almost didn't sound like him it was soooo high-pitched... then I heard him cry... that was for himself... not for what he'd done or even his wife. It was the tears of that little boy who probably set fire to the cat and got caught. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help

#30 Nov 16 - 11PM (Reply to #6)

quietude (not verified)

screamed

Sorry but LMAO!!! Oh, that would have been sweet to catch on video and loop on you tube over and over...

#31 Nov 17 - 12AM (Reply to #7)

Barbara (not verified)

for everything else there's Mastercard...LOL

Oh I wish!! It was PRICELESS!! but his California girlfriend did upload the 'love video' of him spanking his little friend for her. It's priceless too! LOL ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help

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