He got married

Ok I am not sure why the news of the ex narc husband getting married upset me so much but it did. I have been nc since October 2010, the only time nc got broken was October 2012 when he took me back to court to try and stop child support; thank goodness he was NOT successful! This past week I found out he got married and it threw me many many steps back.

Suddenly the doubts, the sadness and the thought that I meant nothing came crashing down on me. The thought that he is goi g to try and really work at this marriage and treat this wife better is more than I can stand.

All of these thoughts are strange since I really have no love for him or care for him. I guess it is the feeling that I was not worth the trouble of being good to. I don't know why I feel that way and for the last two days I am trying to dig deep into myself to figure that out.

I have to admit the I broke nc and looked at his Facebook and saw their pictures at jp getting married then I saw another picture they took and I can see he finally bought the motorcycle he always wanted and the sports car he always wanted. All this happiness going on in the house that was once mine! I know I should have never done that, visiting his Facebook. Just made things worse!

Today I decided to deactivate my twitter account and seriously debating if I should cancel my Facebook, going back to nc in a strong way.

Joy2me