he came over

9 posts / 0 new

#1 Sep 7 - 11PM

iwanttoheal

he came over

I was doing so well today. I felt very strong after writing on this board and receiving replies. I knew I could do NC. I felt calm and peaceful for the first time in a very long time.

I cancelled my email account, so he can no longer email me. He still can leave messages on my cell phone, but I just kept the phone off and didn't check my messages. So I was doing NC.

I knew he would eventually come over to my apartment, but I figured he would do so this weekend as he has a heavy work schedule during the week. I planned to not answer the door, and knew I could do it.

But instead he showed up at my door this evening, totally unexpected. I was feeling so strong... Even though it was unexpected, I was able to not answer the door. But he rang the doorbell for a full 10 minutes. I was afraid he would call the police thinking I was dead, so I finally went down and put a sign in the window that said, "Go Away".

He then said, "I have good news," and foolish me, I opened the door. Interacting with him completely took away my strong mood, and I was back to being a mess...

I feel so defeated... It was so amazing and rare to feel a strong sense of self again after so long of feeling lost and destroyed. And he took it away. I honestly didn't expect him to come over...

#2 Sep 8 - 11AM

Hunter

Did you enjoy that

Did you enjoy that manipulation method! They are masters!! Next time you call the police! Pick yourself up and start over! These people are truly evil! Hunter

#3 Sep 8 - 10AM

iwanttoheal

Thank You!

Wow, thank you so much for your support. I didn't read it until this morning, as I ended up spending the evening with him... He was loving and kind and for a while it was like, "hey, everything's fine!" It is crazy how I can still feel that way. But, already this morning, he is cruel again. Your support makes such a HUGE difference for me. Reading your emails this morning is such an antidote to the despair he causes me. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for taking the time to reply.

#4 Sep 8 - 11AM (Reply to #7)

spinning

I want to heal, the true

antidote comes with No Contact. Contact equals confusion. Contact equals pain. They don't change. We must change, unfortunately, to escape the despair. Please continue to read and learn all you can. Knowledge is power! Most sincerely, (not) spinning. I REFUSE TO LOWER THE BAR FOR ANY MAN, MUCH LESS FOR A SICK FREAK WHO TRIED TO DESTROY ME.

spinning

#5 Sep 8 - 1AM

Jelickuk

I have done similar to this

I have done similar to this so many times and each time was plunged back into the grief and despair. Maybe we have to do it to really understand how much contact hurts us. I'm over a month nc and actually don't want to see him, whereas in the past I tried my best to be nc but actually deep down I still wanted him. Now I don't. It has taken me 18 months and still bloody hurts but what a blessed release. So, pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and start all over again We are all here for you x

#6 Sep 8 - 1AM

Journey

You were doing well and this

You were doing well and this is a temporary set back and once again a strong reminder why no contact is so necessary to get them out of our systems. He rang your bell for 10 minutes - that is not normal. If he was worried about you he could have called the police. So what if they came. You tell the police he is stalking you and you didn't want to answer the door. That's it. Back to no contact so you can reclaim what you were starting to feel on your own with your new knowledge and support here. It's hard to stay NC, but worse if we don't. Stay strong! xo

Journey on...

#7 Sep 8 - 10AM (Reply to #4)

iwanttoheal

10 minutes

It is really helpful to have someone tell me that ringing the doorbell for 10 minutes is not normal - I love getting these reality checks. Thank you so much. And you are right, if he were to call the police, I will just say what you said. I can't always see these things myself, so thank you for your very helpful feedback.

#8 Sep 8 - 12AM

Jeff

I feel for you

I was a month NC refusing calls and messages and feeling strong. My N appeared on the street out of nowhere, all dressed up and begged me to speak to him. Took me to a cafe and showed me photos of him and his new big love, said sex was no good with me then cried and begged me to support him as a father figure and help him out (bills whatever). Then twice his Bf called and N stopped crying instantly, took the calls in front of me, gushing over his lover then left me sitting in the cafe while he continued the call outside. Twice in ten minutes. I paid and left. He had not even bothered to apologise for the fact rhat he had been cheating on me with this guy fot two months while accusing me of being possessive and jealous for nothing. Just assumed I would accept everything. Sent a message telling him off and warning him to stay away. Cried for a week over two wasted years. Now I am two weeks Nc and working on myself instead of thinking about him. Be stromg. Admit you are weak and accept the fact that he pulled you back in the tunnel but remember that now you can see the light at the end and ypu are going to stand up and keep walking till you get out of the Cold darkness and feel the sun warm on you again. Hug Jeff

#9 Sep 8 - 12AM (Reply to #2)

lillymarch

Jeff

I read your story and was heart broken at the trauma you've been through with your ex-N. What a user!! His obvious 'faking' and lying at the cafe was disgusting. Support him like a father figure?! Ok, how about beating the crap out of him for being a terrible human! Sorry, I'm not a violent person but the level of deceit and selfishness these N's display really angers me! I'm so happy you are doing NC! Just had to chime in. Hope I didn't offend. And I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best! I, too, am trying to take care of myself and step into the sunlight away from these shadows of people.

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews