1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. He asked me if Id ever take him back

He asked me if Id ever take him back

13 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jul 16 - 1AM
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

He asked me if Id ever take him back

Well I finally caved on the NC gals. In fact Im not going to lie it was worse than that. I even went to see him to get my riding gear that I need for the weekend. He was trying to be so nice and sweet. He said he wanted to prove he wasnt an ass anymore and met me somewhere. When I got there he ran and hugged me and held me tight. He had that look in his eyes that he has at the beginning every time. He admitted that he is hanging out with the 17 year old and has slept with her but he said he wasnt gonna date her. He said that I dont know what is ahead of me or in my future and I told him that is true but I know that he isnt. He said the right guy is in front of me but just made a mistake, etc. He kept trying to kiss me and hold me but I just left.

Once I got in my car he text me (I unblocked him after I gave in). Here is our conversation:

N:Hey
Me: dont even try it
N: k im not going to force you or beg you
me: k
n: you dont even ever see a 1% chance?
me: of what? sleeping together or dating?
n:dating! sleeping together is whatever to me
me: why would you even want to try
n: bc I miss you
me: it didnt work once, it didnt work twice, it wont work a third time
n: you dont know that
me: im not willing to risk it
n: do you miss me
me: yes sometimes
n: well at least i have that

I know that I told all of you that I havent cried very much over this, but after this convo I balled my eyes out! Why? I got my validation. I got to be the one to tell him no. What is my issue? I should be so happy right now! I should be jumping for joy that the tables finally turned. I know in my heart that I dont want him. I know that and I proved it to myself today. Do I love him? Sure, but I love myself more. Im just having a hard night gals..... :(

Jul 17 - 7PM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Trying to Hug & Kiss

Ladies, I was contacted by the woman who replaced me whne I left my N. Mine never let me know that he was with another woman. He always acted as if his heart was broken & tried to hug me & kiss me too the few times I saw him to collect my possessions. He replaced me immediately, from one day to the next. And when this woman & I compare notes it's unbelievable. On the same day he could be contacting me seeking reconcilation & then to her proposing marriage. Begging me to remain with him & then saying he had to go to a lecture (unless I wanted him to stay with me) & SHE was waiting at the lecture for him as a date. Believe nothing these men say about loving, missing, needing YOU. We are all just objects to them. The N must use these words to extract what he needs. It's a game.
Jul 16 - 7PM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Ewa

Good for you, girl! I am so proud of you. Don't be afraid to cry right now. You need to get it out and purge him. You did get your validation, even though it wasn't necessary it still feels good. You told him no because you know it can never work. Stay true to that and re-establish No Contact. You owe it to yourself. As you said, you may love him, but you better love yourself more and you do. You proved that today! Besides, you don't love "him" really, you love an "image of him" that is not real. Remember that. Good job. You should be very proud of yourself. xoxo
Jul 16 - 11AM
ewa
ewa's picture

"n: do you miss me me: yes

"n: do you miss me me: yes sometimes n: well at least i have that" - for him it was: well at least i have a bit of supply knowing that you miss me "me: it didnt work once, it didnt work twice, it wont work a third time n: you dont know that" - come on you know that, he just want to make you look stupid Rainbow1 - NC please!!!!
Jul 17 - 8PM (Reply to #10)
betty2020
betty2020's picture

DING DING DING....We got a

DING DING DING....We got a winner!!! He got exactly what he set out to get from you Rainbow. Bet hes on fat happy vamp tonight. Im sorry honey hes playing you again. Look at the text again. Read it over and over. Look at the end of the text dear. What do you see? only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Jul 16 - 11AM
ewa
ewa's picture

.

'
Jul 16 - 8AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Will he move on?

Who the hell knows? Mine would always say, when I'd turn him down for yet another night of delightful rough porn, "Ok, if you don't love me anymore, bye!" Is he gone now because I had my "last chance" to sleep with him tonight and said no? Maybe? Maybe not? Do I want to beg him to give me anothr chance? Yes. Why? Who the hell knows? Arrrrrrgggghhhh! Wanting that guy back that we met, I guess, and always hoping it will happen.
Jul 16 - 8AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

rainbow

He hangs around with and has slept with her but isn't gonna date her? "Oh, by the way Rainbow, I want you to know I'm being a total dickwad to her, too, baby." Ugh. What a slob! And then "Sleeping together means nothing to me." You think? I'm gonna come kill that guy . . . as soon as I dismember mine.
Jul 16 - 2AM
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

AND...

He just told me that he is sorry that he hurt me and if i just give him a chance it will be different in the future. i told him no and that im moving on. and he said then he wont ask me again. do you think he means this? do you think he will move onto new supply now? or is this just another lie and way to manipulate?

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jul 16 - 11AM (Reply to #5)
ewa
ewa's picture

He is blackmailing you. But

He is blackmailing you. But i hope you do not want him to ask you again.
Jul 16 - 9AM (Reply to #4)
Amy
Amy's picture

Oh Rainbow!

I know how hard this all is! You can't believe him! I have heard this so many times - and I get hurt every single time! You will too if you let him back in. PLEASE be strong!
Jul 16 - 5AM (Reply to #2)
Used
Used's picture

RAINBOW1

narc asked me last year would i feel anything for him again i said no, he said i will go back to bieng the man you first met, isaid no, i know the man you are now and i dont even like you, who,s feelings come back ,mine dont, he said do you ever miss me, i said no[i ment it] cos i had noticed the less i saw him the less i wanted too] he said can we still say hi, i said no, i wasent interested , i then knew i was done 9monthsnc, but i dont even think of it like that now, only today i was out and thought i am free, free to go where i want see who i want, dawdled if i want talk onthe phone if i want ,i am free for first time in 5 years.
Jul 16 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
neveragain5
neveragain5's picture

rainbow

"He just told me that he is sorry that he hurt me and if i just give him a chance it will be different in the future. i told him no and that im moving on. and he said then he wont ask me again. do you think he means this? do you think he will move onto new supply now? or is this just another lie and way to manipulate?" Rainbow, once again, I completely understand where you're at. Four months or so ago, I was asking the same question. I wanted to drive him away. The sooner that he left my life, the sooner that I was going to heal. I really didn't want to hurt him in any way in the process, (i.e. getting a restraining order), because 1) I didn't know if that would just escalate things and ) because I didn't want to cause him harm. All that I wanted was to be rid of him. I knew that I didn't want mine either, but just because I didn't want to be with him, didn't mean I didn't care about his well being. Over time, when he kept coming at me, I just started to get more angry. Because of my stubborness, I wanted him to be the one running away, not me. Here's an old post...http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2010/03/15/ugh-i-hope-he-goes-away Like you, I met mine after and tried to end things positively. I also wasnted to test how high my resistance was to him. He did the same thing, hugging me and kissing me. He made me promises, but my resolve to protect myself was stronger. Eventually, you will get to a place where you are tired of dealing with all of this. The best thing right now, is that you know that you don't want to be with him. Everything they do is a manipulation of some sort. You can never take the N's word or promise because they will just go back and spin things in their favor.