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Hate this lack of freedom

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#1 Aug 4 - 4AM
Littleone
Littleone's picture

Hate this lack of freedom

I'm 27 years old, single mum, living with my parents relying on government handouts.
Yes I am blessed I have a beautiful child and that I have somewhere to live.
But I've lived out of home since I was 19. I have had my own place.
I'm an adult and I find it very hard to adjust to being under parental supervision again.
Maybe I sound immature.
But I'm tired of every part of my life being scrutinized by my parents.
If I was to go though, it would be very hard and I wouldn't be able to do certain things because I have a son.
The n on the other hand is free as a bird and I'm left to pick up the pieces of my life.
Just venting and fucked off with my life at the moment ugh!

Aug 4 - 8AM
repressed memory
repressed memory's picture

You have a sticky situation

My husband and I are now empty nesters and enjoyed tremendously the years with our children living at home. We always believed that the process of getting the children slowly out of the nest took many years and just doesn't happen overnight. It takes much investment not only on the child's part but also on the parent's. Unfortunately when we make choices that aren't exactly according to plan, we have to live with all aspects of those choices. Your parents want to help you but there is a pricetag attached to their help. Living/working with family is a double edge sword. You have to take the bad with the good, but if there is more bad than good then you feel trapped. I think a lot of stay at home moms feel this way if they're in a bad situation.
Aug 4 - 7AM
Layla
Layla's picture

Where do you want to reasonably be in five years???

Write it down! Now you have a goal..........next step is listing the things you need to accomplish in order to be where you want to be in five years. When you care about your future and your sons future, it isn't called government handout, it's called a handUP. Use any resources available to you in order to become self sufficient. YOU CAN DO THIS! Many women have been on your situation and have come out the other side WINNERS! God Bless and peace to you!
Aug 4 - 6AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Littleone

Yup that's what they do fuck up our lives. Now it's up to you to fix this! Do you have a plan? Get one, and start working on it! Hunter
Aug 4 - 6AM (Reply to #4)
Littleone
Littleone's picture

Your right hunter. I don't

Your right hunter. I don't have a plan right now and I do need one. Hard to know where to start.
Aug 4 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Littleone

You are only 27, you have many years of shit ahead of you! I'm 43 the road ahead is full of speed bumps it's also full of fun! I think a positive mind set is a good way to start! I think you are past giving a shit about this guy! That's a step forward, now how are you going to take step 2, maybe take some little job, do it well and from there things will progress! No stripping! Save even a few dollars in the piggy bank and that too will grow. It's baby steps. For now keep your mouth shut and deal with the folks, they are helping you! Write it down, and yes use all resources available to you! When you are out and about " fake it till you make it" smile and say hello to people, don't be a Debbie Downer it really works. Action reaction! Try it, you'll like it! As much bad that's out there there is plenty of good! Hunter
Aug 4 - 6AM
58 and going strong
58 and going strong's picture

Count your blessings, and

Count your blessings, and know that sometimes we have to go through phases like that, especially when we have children. What do you miss the most right now for yourself? How important are the things you would have to give up if you moved out? Is it good for your son to be with his grandparents? How much are they part of your becoming a Co-dependant? I am sure there are more questions. I have always found it helpful to put those things in writing so I could really see the numbers of pros and cons of my situation and then make the next move. And no need to envy Ns freedom, for he is not free, he is nothing but an emotionless puppet on a string. You'll be fine, just be patient and keep venting off in this safe place. Have a beautyful new day!
Aug 4 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
Littleone
Littleone's picture

I've done a mental tally and

I've done a mental tally and the positives of staying do far outweigh the good. The hit the nail on the head with your 'co-dependant' question. Yes the most certainly are where I developed my problems with co dependence. I also learnt here (at my parents house) to doubt myself, mistrust myself, feel bad because I am 'different' from the rest of the family. Feel like a bad person etc etc and always wrong. The difference is now I can see what is going on. Maybe therapy to deal with this is a good idea. They often say rather negative and derogatory things about my personality and I end up hating myself and want to slit my wrists. (not literally) I really can't leave tho, it wouldn't be good for the little guy. I might just have to withdraw myself a whole lot more. The family dynamic here Is very weird.