grossot update

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#1 Aug 11 - 5PM
grossot
grossot's picture

grossot update

1) Barbara - - sent the letters and I feel empowered
Thank you

2)Despite his not being flexible with custody to allow daughter to be flower girl this weekend he thinks nothing of calling me today and requesting an exchange this week to his benefit. I couldn't let him know that daughter and I have a psych appt. The day he wants her but offered a negotiation to help him as a compromise. "No," he said, "I'll just have (gf name) pick her up. He knows this would upset me since this woman drives her chilren around drunk. But because I know she is out of town this week and that can't possibly happen, I say, "Is that all?". He stammered. He didn't know how to react.

Always keep em guessing girls!

3) He has a Harley! Too bad I had mortgage lender fax my attorney the payoff on the house that the judge ordered him to pay so that my attorney can prove there is reason for him to be contempt of court! And there will be a paper trail for him to owe any penalties from not making the mortgage payment.

Feelin' good!

Sep 5 - 7PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

How do you deal with rumors/slander? IGNORE! The Narc's probably told her the same thing. Do NOTHING. Do NOT let the ramblings of another victim get to you. Who cares what she's saying? And if someone repeats it to you just LAUGH and ask them please not to 'carry rumors' or you will have to go NC on them too. here's some examples of what Psycho-Boy said about me: She is divorced several times so goes by her maiden name of xxxxx. She is 55 years OLD. And I mean OLD. This woman posts inoccent people on sites as this one. She claims to be a religious jew. She should be shot for the filth she says about people she has never met and never will. She tells horrid lies about them. She has posted at least two of her victims on this site. I have been divorced once. I am not 55 or even close. I never posted Psycho-Boy on any sites but the 'cyberpaths' one. Elizabeth, one of his other women, did all the others. I don't know what 2 victims they mean. Delusional of course. This woman claims Psycho-Boy hurt her. Well…guess what Babs! You played his game with him. YOU had phone sex with ME. YOU! You whored yourself out on the phone. Yep! Your a whore. You blame Psycho-Boy. Psycho-Boy just revealed it's him doing the writing. I don't claim he hurt me I know he did. He was obviously reading my Abuse Information site and taking information and projecting it back on me - really pathetic. You post shit all over the net about this wonderful man who helps many, many people. All you do is try to pass the blame. You have made yourself look like the scum bag you really are. Wonderful man? Can we say Narcissistic Psychopath? LOL When he did meet up with you, to his horror, he saw that his ex-girlfriend from college had ballooned into a 275 lb fat pig with poor hygiene and he didn’t want to bang you. He politely excused himself by saying he couldn’t do this to his wife. He knew how overweight I was. He never excused himself, he kept it up when I tried to end it. Poor hygiene? ROFLMAO. You then began stalking him and his family, driving by his house, sending letters to his wife, his parents, his in-laws, his rabbi, the police, anyone with whom you thought you could slander his good name. His poor wife was left with no choice but to report you to the police after you threatened to harm her children. He lives too far from me for me to stalk him. I sent things as directed by legal advice to his wife. I don't know where his parents or in-laws live! The police contacted ME because of HIS lies to them so I sent them all my precinct's information on him. I have it IN WRITING That he's threatened MY children and made death threats against me. Can you say PROJECTION? Pitiful... these Narcs are like schoolyard bullies when exposed. Even when you win sole custody & supervised visitation they'll still be saying nonsense - IGNORE. Narcs WANT to engage you and make you crazy so then they can go to court and say SEE SEE! I TOLD YOU SO!! Give them NOTHING. In the words of my late Nana "never try to teach a pig to sing, wastes your time & annoys the pig." How can you let the words of PATHOLOGICAL people and their proxies bother you? Consider the source. Remember shit comes from an a**hole. And that's what this is. SHIT. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck
Sep 6 - 2AM (Reply to #24)
grossot
grossot's picture

Thanks Barbara! I'm so

Thanks Barbara! I'm so sorry for everything you had to and still have to endure. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You should be proud of yourself for maintaining NC and helping so many others do the same. This whole mirroring thing works in a really twisted way. Its like they want to be in the victim's shoes. I will IGNORE. My aunt says "be teflon - don't let it stick to you" I'm very glad I have a place like this to turn. nolongercontrolled
Aug 30 - 10AM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

It is always fun to beat

It is always fun to beat these monsters at their own game. iI had a few wins at divorce time and lived long enough to see this user and abuser self-destruct. i know its not nice but I really got a kick out of MR.Highhorse hitting the floor.
Sep 5 - 6PM (Reply to #22)
grossot
grossot's picture

good and bad

So I went to my treating psychiatrist this week. Started a low dose antidepressant again. Very glad I did it. I am going to have my daughter see her previous counselor as well.my dr says she is learning to be manipulative towards her father as a means of survival (ie: playing him with the croccodile tears). Dr said he spoke with other psych (court appointed) and she believes me! She asked my treating dr if he thought I was sincere and he said yes. According to him she said, "I don't believe she's trying to remove the father from daughters life and that she is concerned for daghters safety." My treating psych says the more my daughter is under N's infuence the more chance she has at demonstrating psychopathic tendencies. Also, I found out from mistres' husband she is calling me a psychotic bitch and he'll know in the end what a psycho I am when I lose my daughter because of this. Its hard not to let this stuff get to me. I am not one for confrontation. I'm very sensitive to what people think of me. How do you deal with rumors/slander? I know she's just pissed cuz her husband believes me and has left her. Ok thanks for letting me vent..... nolongercontrolled
Aug 29 - 12PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

sounds excellent She knows you're truthful... she knows you're concerned... now she's going to watch him lie, fabricate and deny... and he's busted. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck
Aug 16 - 7AM
grossot
grossot's picture

Emails from grossot's narc

[grossot], The other day when we spoke on the phone you made the request that [daughter] be allowed to attend [bride's] wedding. You had made a proposal that in exchange for Saturday 08/15/09 starting at 11:30 [i actually said 12:30]until 5:00 or 6:00, I would have [daughter]for a Mon. and Tues. over night. At first I declined your proposal based on I did not feel giving up time with [daughter] on a day I did not have to work for two days I did have to work was a fair deal. After looking at my schedule on 08/11/09, I realized that I have scheduled a psychological evaluation for [daughter] and I on 08/15/09. The evaluation stats at 10:30 on 08/15/09 and I was not given an end time. I do not believe with the evaluation being over an hour away we would be done in time for the wedding. If by chance we were done in time, I would be willing to exchange time on 08/15/09 for time later in the next week. I am proposing the following: I would meet [grossot] at the place of her choosing after the evaluation on 08/15/09. I would then pick up [daughter], at the place of my choosing, on the night of 08/15/09 at 7:00 p.m. I would then have [daughter]from 7:00 p.m. on 08/15/09 until 6:00 a.m. on the 08/21/09. This would mean that I would have [daughter] only three nights beyond my regular schedule; I feel this more appropriately accommodates my giving up time with her, so she can attend a function with you. My Reply: [Narc], It is essential for [daughter] to be @ the [XXXX] Church no later than 12:30pm on Aug. 15 for pictures for the wedding as requested by the Bride. Wedding attire is purchased , programs are complete, [daughter] is excited to be a part of this function. Since, as of our conversation in early June of this year regarding [daughter's] participation in [bride's] Wedding, when you requested I speak with you about it "when it came closer to the time" I needed to let the bride know an answer and the arrangements include [daughter]. I know that Dr. [xxxxxx] will understand about having to change the date of your evaluations. She is very accommodating to schedules. Then:this is not emailed: I spoke with Dr. XX at my prearranged eval the next day. She said, "I'll take care of it and I'll say I had a schedule conflict and cancel; I won't even mention you". The next day, Narc spews emails at me: [grossot], I am not going to reschedule for the evaluation. It is set and I only have [daughter] every other weekend. If you were not sure whether she was allowed to be in the wedding, then why did you say yes? I would like to have this divorce finale as soon as possible, and rescheduling would only delay that process more. I do not feel I have [daughter] enough time as it is, so I am not giving up more time with her, and I am not delaying any more. I hope next time we will be able to communicate more for the sake of [daughter], we need to as her parents it is essential [NOTE THE MIMICING OF WORD USAGE]. I need to know where to pick [daughter] up tonight. For [daughter's] sake you should have never told her she was going to be in a wedding when you had no idea, and you should not let her be in rehearsal tonight, this will just confuse her more. Regards, [Narc], My reply: I agree communication is important for [daughter's] sake. I attempted to communicate with you about this in early June and complied with your request to discuss it later. The later attempt was made and was negated by you telling me Its "too late". My mother took her to rehersal and Narc picked her up from there (I had to work over). From Narc: We will talk about this later is not a yes, and it is not too late, she simple will not be there, unless we are able to come to an agreement. I still don't know why you said yes when you had no idea what my plans were. You can call me later to talk about negotiations for Sat. I will not be home for the rest of the night so you will need to call me. I DID NOT CALL Instead: He sent this morning of the wedding: I did not tell you it was too late, I did not agree with my make up time. If we can come to an agreement on the make up time, then yes she will be there today at 12:30 other wise she will not be showing up. My reply: You did say it was too late last sat. You are more than welcome to have [daughter] next sat for the amount of time she is needed at the wedding today. His Reply: No, I would like to have [daughter] from now on, when it is my weekend on Sunday nights, and I can take her to school on Mon. My reply: In exchange for 5 hours of her life?!!!!! Narc: NO, in exchange for that is what I deserved this entire time, there was no reason why should not have her for more time. You have no idea what it is like to have to go an entire week with out seeing her; you have dragged this divorce out and involved too many people. So I think a better suggestion is we come up with a final parenting plan. Call our lawyers on Monday, and end all of this. Me: So are you saying no to the wedding? narc: I'm saying we agree on a parenting plan before the wedding and agree to call our lawyers on Mon. and finalize this divorce. So if you do not agree with this then you are saying no to her showing up to the wedding. Me: Nothing Narc: (12 minutes before she is supposed to be at wedding) I have not received a reply yet, you might want to call me, so we can work this out Me: You are both welcome to come at 12:30 She was not at the wedding.
Aug 16 - 2PM (Reply to #11)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

UNFLIPPING BELIEVABLE.

UNFLIPPING BELIEVABLE. You are being businesslike and he is all ME ME ME and YOU YOU YOU. Please send ALL of these to your lawyer immediately. Please also send all of these to the evaluator. This hurt your daughter. UNREAL... but not knowing what a boundary-less infantile Narc he is. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily "Some women can fake an orgasm. But some men can fake an entire relationship!" - Sharon Stone
Aug 28 - 11PM (Reply to #17)
grossot
grossot's picture

meeting with psyc evaluator

I think it went well. She immediately asked if daughter got to go to wedding. I think she was shocked by the answer! I had the emails printed out for her. She made notes on them and caught him in a blatant lie! Evaluator had called N day before wedding and cancelled session on wedding day under her own circumstances (not mine). That was at 2:30 pm. The time for his email which stated to me he was NOT going to reschedule evaluation was at 3:08 the same day she called him to cancel (at 2:30)! I told her a few stories as they came up; one of which very clearly defines his lack of empathy. She can't give a lot of feedback since she is evaluating but she did shake her head and raise her eyebrows a few times! She wanted me to tell her positive qualities in him. For a long time you could just hear crickets outside. I swear I was thinking though! Truely I was! Then I said, "He was a hard worker" She knew what I meant! He was gone all the time - always at 'work'! I hope that means things are going in my favor. I still question what I'm doing. Then I look at my pretty little girl....it's all for her! nolongercontrolled
Aug 28 - 11PM (Reply to #18)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

psych eval

at least you didn't start screaming "He has no positive qualities!" which is good. Shows you were genuinely thinking. May I ask what her response to the bathtub nonsense was. Glad you showed her the email. Wonder if she's going to confront him with it - if she does I can almost bet he's going to shoot off both feet at the thigh! Sounds good. Did she ask about you? your feelings? how you feel about daughter? ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck
Aug 29 - 8AM (Reply to #19)
grossot
grossot's picture

answer to Barbara

Evaluator's position on the bathtub nonsense. She has said 2 times now something to this effect: "Even if there is no abuse going on, which we may never know, there are definitely boundary issues that are just as much or more of a concern to me." She states she has casually spoken to my treating psychiatrist and they agree that the bathtub situation is a boundary issue. That's all she will say at this time. No, she did not want to know how I felt. She was only interested in factual information. She asked me on a scale of 1-10 how disappointed did I think my daughter was about missing the wedding. I said 7. She said when she's 18 how disappointed do you think she will be about the same thing. I said not much. She said, "good, that tells me you're telling the truth!" What do you make of this, Barbara? nolongercontrolled
Aug 30 - 9AM (Reply to #16)
grossot
grossot's picture

sent to lawyer

I sent them to my lawyer. He said, "He's using his daughter as a tool and the court doesn't hold kindly to that!" nolongercontrolled
Aug 16 - 6PM (Reply to #12)
grossot
grossot's picture

i picked her up and

After picking daughter up tonight (I said nothing to her besides I missed you I love you) N no sooner pulled away than she said "I missed the wedding because (insert gf's kid's names) come first. nolongercontrolled
Aug 16 - 7PM (Reply to #13)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

send it to your lawyer and the evaluator IMMEDIATELY. Make it clear she said this to you WITHOUT PROMPTING FROM YOU. Dirtbag should be made to PAY for the therapy your daughter needs. IMMEDIATELY. as you can see your daughter is not stupid... and she is starting to see through her sperm-donor. My kids say the same now "if it doesn't have something in it for Dad, he doesn't do it." what a heartless piece of garbage he is. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily "Some women can fake an orgasm. But some men can fake an entire relationship!" - Sharon Stone
Aug 20 - 10PM (Reply to #14)
grossot
grossot's picture

how can i co parent with a P?

I was just thinking today oh maybe he'll be civil; he's responding somewhat appropriately to my emails re daughter. Then wammo! Another email. Forgive me I cannot copy and paste on my bb but I will do my best to record his nonsense: "Daughter told me tonight that you take her to Ray's house to play with the boys and leave her there with him for him to babysit? Is this the truth or is she just telling stories? If you are taking her over there to play or for him to babysit, I would advise you not to take daughter around him due to documented records of anger management issues and spousal abuse. Please let me know so that I may take the appropriate actions." "Ray" is his mistresses husband. She wants her husband back so that she can have 2 men as she always has. I know first hand she calls and texts her husband at all hours unbeknownst to N. She let's her children be with him more than what's ordered by the court (and he's an abuser?) For those of you who do not know doctors and psychiatrists are questiong N's boundaries with his own 5 year old daughter especially after he took baths with her last year after I, his wife, asked him not to. Documented records?! He's accused of sexual inappropriateness! I cannot believe this? Appropriate actions? Is he trying top scare me? He has my daughter around his mistress all the time. She has been known to drive her children under the influence! I'm so mad right now. These accusations of his are not true btw. nolongercontrolled
Aug 21 - 1AM (Reply to #15)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot - child custody, co-parenting

grossot... you seem to go over this same ground all the time and it keeps coming back to one thing: YOU NEED TO GET AN ATTORNEY TO WORK WITH YOU REGARDING CUSTODY AND VISITATION WHO IS A BULLDOG!! Your current one does not seem to be cutting it and with a P that is simply unacceptable. I don't know why you are so afraid to fire this one after you find a new one who 'gets it' but he will keep doing this bullcrap and escalate as well. You & your child are going to be the one's paying the price for his pathology if you don't get a good custody/ visitation lawyer and make everything go through that person. I had to fire my first attorney too. She wanted to lead me around by the nose, get me to mediate and get ME to control him. She refused to believe exNH was disordered and uncontrollable. Finally I fired her... had to ask 3 times for a specific accounting of what I owed her... and turn it all over to someone new who 'took no prisoners' and put exNH in his place. STOP TRYING TO FIGURE HIM OUT. THIS SORT OF COMMUNICATION IS UNACCEPTABLE. We all know he's lying, you didn't need to tell us - they lie with every breath they take. Be SURE that your current attorney, the evaluation, judge and whoever else is involved - INCLUDING THE MISTRESS' HUSBAND - gets a copy of that bizarre communication and do NOT respond. Talk about TWISTED. Take it to your lawyer and tell your afraid that, as you have been told by professionals, your STBX has a serious psychological disorder... and you need a go-between to take care of these outrageous and covertly threatening communications between you & he - because they are triggering your PTSD from him. If they tell you you HAVE to handle it? That's BULLSHIT. And your STBXPH knows you will just 'try to work it out' because you don't want to upset him, the attorney or whatever - grossot, it is PAST DUE FOR YOU TO ROCK HIS FRIGGIN' WORLD. WAAAAAY PAST DUE. Start looking for someone new - NOW. http://lawyers.findlaw.com/lawyer/practice/Custody-&-Visitation http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/child-custody-and-visitation.html ~~~~~~~~~ some tips and tricks to managing divorce/custody with a Narcissist (or psychopath). 1. everything in writing. He must contact you either by email (preferred) or in writing or by leaving messages. This prevents you from being ambushed by him. 2. Use a third party - preferably a custody attorney - whenever possible. They hate exposure of their abuse so getting others involved is absolutely essential. 3. Never let him in your house. Never. 4, Refuse to discuss anything except the logistics of child custody such as pickup times etc. (a good place for pick ups & drop offs is the lobby of the local police precinct. Introduce yourself to whoever is at the desk and tell them what you are doing there and that you feel safer doing it there.) Respond only to their yes/no questions and shield yourself emotionally from any baiting. And they love to bait and purposely upset their Xs. Some information on divorce/ custody with a Narcissist or Psychopath: Custody Tips by Lundy Bancroft http://www.lundybancroft.com/child-custody-justice.html Justice in the Courts http://lundybancroft.com/child.html Surviving the Storm Strategies and Realities when Divorcing a Narcissist by Richard Skettitt http://dalkeithpress.com/survivingthestorm/ Offer of Judgement (?prevent ongoing litigation) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Offer_of_judgment SPARC http://www.deltabravo.net/ High Conflict Institute (articles) http://highconflictinstitute.com/content/view/77/101/ Parental Alienation http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Parental-Alienation-Syndrome/parents-fought.html Supervisted Visitation Network http://www.svnetwork.net/ Divorce and the Narcissist in Court http://www.narcissisticabuse.com/divorce.html Divorcing the Narcissist and the 'system' http://darksideofdv.blogspot.com/ Pathological Parenting by Sandra Brown, MA http://www.pathologicalparenting.bravehost.com/ "Love and Loathing" Kreger/Williams http://www.bpdcentral.com/bks/loathing.shtml William Eddy Articles http://www.eddylaw.com/articles.htm Right of First Refusal (get this added to your custody agreement) http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/firstrefusal.php Most Ns & Ps really don't care about the children anyway. They want to target their ex who dared to divorce them and expose their abuse. Many, in fact, become 'sport litigators' because they love the limelight the courts provide them. grossot remember: A narcissist is a child - a spoiled self-centered child. No little kid wants to have to work at caring for and entertaining another child. All or most of his payoff comes from you obviously not wanting him to see the child and thwarting things you want the child to do. Even "playing super dad" for someone or some group they are trying to impress can't do the job forever, for even grandparents or the people at church seldom provide enough NS every single time to make it a worthwhile expenditure of energy. A narcissist only interacts with someone else when there is a payoff. Feeding, cleaning, dressing, soothing, entertaining someone even their own child, are not things a narcissist wants to do. Pissing you off by making the child interact with the GF or someone you don't want her to be around, however - makes escalating worthwhile! GET A STRONG LAWYER INVOLVED! aside from all that - we can only hope (LOL) http://failblog.org/2009/08/18/parental-rights-fail/ Hugs ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily "Some women can fake an orgasm. But some men can fake an entire relationship!" - Sharon Stone
Aug 11 - 7PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

love it

Good going... and when he calls after you get that return receipt? HANG UP!! You told him IN WRITING (or EMAIL) or NOTHING. NO MORE REASON TO TALK TO HIM! He's SOOOOO busted. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily "Some women can fake an orgasm. But some men can fake an entire relationship!" - Sharon Stone
Sep 9 - 9PM (Reply to #8)
grossot
grossot's picture

Guess what?! N never picked

Guess what?! N never picked up the certified letter. I assumed he had because he started emailing me. But I got the letter back with 3 attempts made to have him pick it up! ~Give a Narc an inch and they become the ruler~ nolongercontrolled
Sep 9 - 9PM (Reply to #9)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

copy everything and give it to your attorney. He must have KNOWN he was busted. tell your attorney THEY MUST DEAL WITH HIM NOW - YOU HAVE HAD IT!!!!!!!!! Considering resending via courier or a legal service that serves papers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck
Aug 11 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
grossot
grossot's picture

My family is totally upset

My family is totally upset about the flower girl thing. He called and tried to blame me for getting daughter's hopes up about wedding. Bride went to his house tonight (her idea) and sweet talked him into flower girl approval. He agreed! I played nc when he called to blame shift so he called bride and told her daughter cannot be in wedding b/c psych eval that I was "pushing for" (ie: judge ordered) is that day. 2 hours after he agreed! Bride is fuming hot! My mom is going to take her to rehersal fri and he'll have to deal with her and the bride. He's showing his true colors now. Oh btw: when I say I played nc I actually said "my email is (.....) Please let me know of your concerns via email! So he called bride. Mistress is out of town. So I'm getting all the demand for ns. Classic. So is the mistress' husband. She calls him 4 times a day. He only ansers b/c he's concerned for the kids. So predictable. I wish narcs knew that research is being done on them and we all know how to play the game. Be kinder than necessary to everyone you meet; for everyone is fighting some kind of battle - anonymous- :o) nolongercontrolled
Aug 30 - 2PM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot & mallory

this might interest you: http://www.narcissisticabuse.com/divorce.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. B
Sep 2 - 10PM (Reply to #7)
grossot
grossot's picture

Barbara

Thank you. This is good. nolongercontrolled
Aug 11 - 11PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

you go grossot

good girl! Keep your family in the email loop (and the bride) if he sends you any nonsense. His mask is just ripping off at breakneck speed and he's doing it ALL himself. "the psych eval is THAT DAY"??? Nice try LOSER!! LOL!! wait until he and the bride get your letters!! He's gonna plotz! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily "Some women can fake an orgasm. But some men can fake an entire relationship!" - Sharon Stone
Sep 2 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
grossot
grossot's picture

emails

This is what started it after I reminded N of daughter's bible club starting again. From N: I have no issue with (daughter) attending (BIBLE CLUB), I will meet you in at walmart in (city), it makes no sense for both of us to drive out to (BIBLE CLUB).  Also I would like to sign (daughter) up for soccer in (city), I can give you the details later on today.  Also tell (mistress' husband) if he has questions for me he should direct them towards me.  He should have my number and I am always available to talk.     ‪​ My response: N, I am glad you see (BIBLE CLUB) as an important activity for (daughter) to participate in again.  I do expect you, as her father, to transport her to this activity as you did last year.  It does make sense; you would take her there and I would pick her up.  I will not be near Walmart or going that way to the church where it is held at the time it begins.  (BIBLE CLUB) takes place at the same church, (*****) Baptist, as last year, at the same time, 6pm.  I am willing to transport (daughter) to and from soccer, as I'm sure some of the practices fall on my custodial days and I know games are every Sunday.  N's response: - (grossot),   I will not be dropping (daughter) off at (BIBLE CLUB) this year.  It seems no matter what efforts for compromise I make to end this horrid divorce, you still take advantage of custodial rights, and you are unwilling to compromise.  Last week when (daughter) was crying to stay with me there was no reason why she could not have stayed with me one more night.  (Daughter) was voicing her request and you ignored it. I am not mad or upset but heart broken for (daughter).  I at least thought through this entire divorce you would put (daughter)’s best interest before your own motives of hate.    It is very apparent that you are not capable of doing this.  I do not know how many people you have told lies to about (daughter) and me.  People from the church last year treated me different because of your lies.  I will not put myself through that again.  There for I will take her to you at Wal-Mart which is also out of my way, but that is what a compromise is, it is a give and take on both parts.  ---- Original Message -----From: Sent: Wednesday, September 02, 2009 11:33 AMSubject: (BIBLE CLUB) I know you all believe me but I always feel compelled to explain myself (Barbara I won't dramatize in court!) When N is speaking of daughter crying last week, this is what happened: I picked her up; he gets her out of his vehicle and she cries huge tears clinging to him. I ask her if she'd like daddy to put her in my carseat so he does (then 10 min of him kissing her). We get 1 minute down the road and daughter starts cracking up laughing. I dial his number from my restricted phone # and give her the phone. As soon as he answers she stops laughing and cries again ...baby talk). Furthermore, I will be expected to get daughter at soccer where his gf (who wants to sue me for deposition of character) will be but its too much for me to ask him to drop daughter off at her other function because my friends (notice how he calls them 'the people at church) will be there and he will not 'put himself through that again'? HELP! (My lawyer knows all of this) nolongercontrolled
Sep 3 - 6AM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

Just say NO. Here's where you went a bit wrong: I am glad you see (BIBLE CLUB) as an important activity for (daughter) to participate in again. Never tell him he makes you happy, sad or anything... now he's going to rain on your parade. I do expect you, as her father, to transport her to this activity as you did last year. It does make sense; you would take her there and I would pick her up. You used the word 'expect' - he takes that as a request. And 'makes sense' - he could care LESS!! Its about hurting you. I will not be near Walmart or going that way to the church where it is held at the time it begins. Now you're telling him HOW to inconvenience you. (BIBLE CLUB) takes place at the same church, (*****) Baptist, as last year, at the same time, 6pm. I am willing to transport (daughter) to and from soccer, as I'm sure some of the practices fall on my custodial days and I know games are every Sunday. Sure you know? Narcs don't know sh*t. Again - you're being too nice. Saying too much. He's purposely guilting you & putting you in a bad position. TELL lawyer to handle this one! TELL lawyer to respond thusly: You are to take (daughter) to Bible Club and (mother) will pick her up. (BIBLE CLUB) takes place at the same church, (*****) Baptist, address, at 6pm. (Mother) will transport (daughter) to and from soccer, games are every Sunday. If you are unable to comply with this reasonable request, please contact my office. TELL this lawyer you need them to step in and end this game playing while visitation is decided. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck