Gratitude & the importance of NC

I've been out for almost 3 years. I have paid my membership so that I could tell you my experience & hopefully give some hope that you can all heal from this and find a better life.

God knows, that when I was discarded way back then, I was totally incapable of seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. In complete and utter desperation, I found Lisa's forum. It was a lifeline for me, as I'm sure it will be for many of you. I was at the point where I worried that I was transferring my addiction from the narc to the forum. It was the only thing that kept me sane, and I would go to it any time my mind was spinning, or I was loosing my grip mentally ( this was usually every waking and sleeping hour). You could say it was a crutch, but it was a crutch that gave me the strength to go ahead and do the real work to help myself in other ways. I never posted, I always felt too self conscious, but drew so much strength form other members & contributors. I still visit from time to time, and when I think about it, I feel selfish to not have contributed, when I gained so much. So here I am three years later....

I want you to know, that my life has never been so peaceful and blessed. After the last breakup, I had to go on meds, and with the help of this forum, NC and a therapist, I took a journey to rediscover and transform myself. It took me about a year to feel like I had made significant progress.

I am currently with a wonderful, loving man who is the total opposite to my EXn. we have been together for 2 years and we were recently engaged. I wonder how I got so lucky. I know that I would not have found him without going through the journey from narc to recovery.

When seeking recovery, I would want to emphasize, what I didn't understand before finding Lisa, and that is the importance of NO CONTACT. I was only able to maintain this once I knew what I was dealing with. The knowledge gained from this forum and blogs are all the tools needed to heal. Just like 1+1=2, if you follow the advice, you will get the result.Believe this , if you believe nothing else!

Now that I am on the other side, I hear things about my Exn through the grapevine and it really means NOTHING to me. My blood pressure does not elevate and my interest is not piqued, just complete blank.They could be talking about the Easter Bunny! This was only achieved from the years of COMPLETE NC. Trust what they tell you here and chant it like a mantra NC,NC,NC!!!!!

Lastly, don't doubt yourself. If you think he/she MIGHT be a narc, then err on the side of safety, and assume he/she is one. There is nothing to be gained by making excuses for bad behaviour.

I wish you all strength, love & healing.X